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12 Waiters Fess Up to the Worst First Dates They've Ever Seen

Photo credit: Summit Entertainment
Photo credit: Summit Entertainment

From Redbook

First dates can be amazing. They can also be total shit-shows and fodder for some of the most painfully hilarious stories you've ever heard. And given that restaurants are typically the most common first-date venue, those who work in the service industry have seen their fair share of disastrous attempts at romance. In a recent AskReddit thread, waiters shared stories about the worst first dates they've ever witnessed. Brace yourselves for some severe second-hand awkwardness.

1. "I am on the worst date of my life."

"I work at a fairly nice Italian restaurant, where we do a lot of business. One night, a man who I was not even serving came up to me while I was punching an order in on the computer and hands me $20 and a napkin with a phone number on it. He proceeds to tell me 'I am on the worst date of my life. This woman is horrendous, and I have to get out of here. Take this $20 and please go to the nearest phone and call me and tell me that I have to get home right away. I don't care what excuse you make up, I just gotta get the hell out of here.' Initially, I thought he was kidding, until two minutes later the guy who was serving him came up to me to tell me how wicked this woman was and how he could tell the guy didn't wanna be there. I promptly called that guy as soon as I had a free minute. One of my shining achievements as a server." –XeiaKebert

2. "The man guzzles a few Strawberry Quencher iced teas, says 'See ya Friday, bitch' and leaves her with the bill."

"It was an attractive young woman and an average-looking man. First off, these people were 30, and I have no clue why they decided to go to Applebee's for dinner. The guy was wearing plaid sleep pants and an oversized red Columbia zip-up. The woman was dressed more nicely, but it was still casual. All goes well until it comes time for entrées. This guy orders a fuck ton of ribs (a few full racks) and refuses the girl her original order of a house sirloin, which was only about $6, less than a fifth of his order. The man orders a $4 salad and a water for her. The woman stops talking completely while the man talks about some crazy party he went to. The man guzzles a few Strawberry Quencher iced teas, says 'See ya Friday, bitch' and leaves her with the bill. She said the guy seemed nice when they talked on Tinder, but was very uncomfortable with him in real life and she was afraid to say something. A co-worker and I paid for her meal, and later she and the same co-worker starting dating. They are engaged now." –SovietSocialistRobot

3. "I see the guy take his phone out and start swiping through Tinder."

"I served a couple a few months ago. Every time I walked over, he would always be the one talking, and she would just be sitting there not having a good time. At the end, I asked if it was one bill or separate and she immediately piped up "SEPARATE." I go and take his payment, and as I hand over the Debit machine to the girl, I see the guy take his phone out and start swiping through Tinder." –oversized_canoe

4. "Would you like to take this home to feed your kids?"

"I was working at a Mexican restaurant at the time. I was waiting on a couple, and I could tell it was a first date by the questions I heard them asking each other. Anyway, towards the end of their meal there was this Hispanic girl sweeping next to their table and the woman looks at her, holds out the remains on her plate and says, 'Would you like to take this home to feed your kids?' I stood there in complete shock. This woman spoke no English, but she could tell this random woman was completely degrading her. The sad thing is she seemed like she really thought she was doing a good deed. Her date looked so embarrassed." –schmackers

5. "Every time she tried to get a word in, he'd cut her off."

"Once witnessed a date where the dude talked about how special he was and how his mind wasn't like other people's for the entire date. The girl was politely nodding along and every time she tried to get a word in, he'd cut her off. Absolutely brutal." –frogsmouth

6. "You bet your ass he tipped less than 10% too."

"I'm a waitress at a mid-range bar/grill. Just yesterday, a younger couple came in and as I greet them I ask if they want anything besides water. Conversation is as follows...

Girl: May I have a Coke? Or Pepsi?

Boy: God, Erin. I'm paying.

Girl: Water will be fine, actually.

My heart immediately sank, because you bet your ass he tipped less than 10% too." –cox-e

7. "He made a comment to her about how he's 'not Jew-y.'"

"He made a comment to her about how he's 'not Jew-y' so she should order whatever she wanted. She was Jewish. She spent the rest of the evening in silence as he went on about how his ex-girlfriend was anorexic and 'so annoying about food.' He was happy to be on a date with a woman who could eat like a 'normal person.' So weird." –Outoffixins314

8. "At the end, he went to the bathroom and just never came back."

"Worked at Applebee's. This woman was the worst woman I've ever waited on. She was needy and slurped down her iced tea like there was a worldwide shortage. He was silent. He didn't talk once except to order his quesadilla burger, and she just kept prattling on. And she was mean too! Talking down about how people were losers to be servers, and how much better it was to work in a shop. At the end, he went to the bathroom and just never came back. He apparently jetted out the side door where the to-go girls worked and gave them a twenty to give to me. Worst Woman was just sitting there and waiting for him to come back. I stood there at the servers' station just waiting for her to realize he wasn't coming back. So after ten minutes, she just started crying, pushed her chair over, and flounced out. I didn't get a tip, but it made my night." –mcmoonery

9. "Different woman storms in through the front door."

"Man and woman cozy in a booth. Different woman storms in through the front door, literally dragging two kids behind her, right past the hostess station to stand defiantly in front of the couple and proceeds to BITCH. Dude was nailed." –twoliterdietcoke

10. "He ate that entire dish over a three-hour period."

"I work in an Italian restaurant. A few years ago, I waited on a guy and girl who met for the first time upon arriving at the restaurant. There were awkward pleasantries exchanged at the door and then they were seated. When I was taking their order the guy asked if we had soup because he had mouth surgery a few days prior and chewing food was still a little rough. We don't have soup, so I explained that the 'softest' food on the menu was gnocchi. He ordered the house gnocchi and proceeded to cut each tiny dumpling into four or more pieces and slowly chew each piece. He ate that entire dish over a three-hour period and the girl stuck it out for the whole thing. She looked miserable, and I'm pretty sure they never saw each other again." –_laceyface_

11. "It was awkward serving steak and salad during an interrogation."

"Had an obvious first date where the lady was grilling the guy on how much money he makes, and he didn't really want to answer. It was awkward serving steak and salad during an interrogation." –literallynamedchad_

12. "He probably should have slowed it down to keep his mouth from working faster than his brain."

"I once had a guy come sit at my bar who was waiting for his blind date. He orders a couple of drinks to calm his nerves. Well, he probably should have slowed it down to keep his mouth from working faster than his brain. Anywho... She shows up and is waaaaaay out of his league. She is absolutely beautiful. She orders a drink, and they start talking. I come back to check on them, and I hear him talking about how much he hates children. He was saying things like how he hopes he never has any, and that he will never be stuck taking care of them, and how he wishes that kids couldn't be taken into public places so that he wouldn't have to be around them. She looked him dead in the eye and said, 'Well, I have a daughter, and I love her very much.' She grabbed her purse and walked out on him. The look on his face was absolutely priceless." –Rivalbrew483

Answers have been lightly edited for spelling and grammar.

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