163 rodent droppings. Pub mold. Bad Miami, Broward and Palm Beach restaurant inspections

A cigarette joins the usual vermin and mold-like substances among the restaurants on this week’s Sick and Shut Down List of Miami-Dade, Broward and Palm Beach restaurants that failed state inspection.

A reminder that we don’t inspect the restaurants — state inspectors do that. We don’t suggest restaurants for inspection — they’re inspected because it’s their turn (Routine inspection) or someone made a Florida Department of Business and Professional Regulation complaint (Complaint inspection). Restaurants remain closed until they pass a re-inspection.

In alphabetical order:

Boston Market, 18601 S. Dixie Hwy., Cutler Bay: Complaint inspection, 15 total violations, one High Priority violation.

The fifth failed inspection in two weeks by one of the last Boston Markets in South Florida featured a malodorous air that might or might not have had something to do with the rodents using the place as their toilet.

Earlier this week, we told you about this and the Miami-Fort Lauderdale area woes of the Boston Market chain as it appears to go through death spasms.

READ MORE: More rodents in Miami-Dade, more evictions in Broward as Boston Market circles the bowl

For what it’s worth, this Boston Market passed re-inspection two days later.

Carmela’s Boca, 7300 W. Camino Real, Suite 100, Unincorporated Palm Beach: Routine inspection, three total violations, three High Priority violations.

Eight live roaches were spotted on the walls and floor around the ice machine. Two were killed.

Also killed was a picnic basket full of food kept above 41 degrees, which counts as “temperature abuse” to inspectors which translates to “not 100% safe for human consumption.” The inspector fired Stop Sales at spicy tuna, baked salmon, spicy salmon, poked mushrooms, cooked rice, sea bass, cooked tuna and quinoa. The coolest was 54 degrees. The warmest was room temperature, 75 degrees. All were trashed.

Carmela’s re-opened the next day after passing the comeback inspection.

The Inn Field Pub, 11439 W. Oakland Park Blvd., Sunrise: Complaint inspection, nine total violations, four High Priority violations.

It really doesn’t feel like a Sick and Shut Down List until we see that someone had “an accumulation of black mold-like buildup in the ice machine.”

The walk-in cooler also sported “an accumulation of black mold-like debris to the back of the walk-in cooler,” hopefully not in sympathy with the ice machine.

The flip-top cooler apparently went on strike. This brought a shower of Stop Sales onto American cheese, Swiss cheese, cheddar cheese, provolone cheese, cole slaw, sour cream, ham slices, turkey slices, roast beef slices and burgers, all of which had been in the cooler for 12 to 24 hours and were still too warm.

There were a couple of dead roaches. A live roach walked on top of the Miller Lite cooler (wonder which he feels more strongly, less filling or tastes great?) while another strolled across the Bud Light cooler. There were two other roaches underfoot.

Passed the comeback inspection the next day.

The Polo Club of Boca Raton’s The Laurels, 5400 Champion Blvd., Unincorporated Palm Beach: Complaint inspection, nine total violations, two High Priority violations.

The Laurels elegant ballroom features high ceilings adorned with sparkling chandeliers and floor-to-ceiling windows offering breathtaking views of the surrounding landscape,” brags The Polo Club website. “A perfect venue for magnificent events.”

Well, not as long as an inspector says, “Establishment is an active construction area in the main kitchen. There’s no handwash sink in the new food preparation room.”

There was no way to dry hands, the inspector said, “at the inadequate hand wash sink on cook line.”

Also, “Food-contact surfaces not sanitized after cleaning and before use.” The cookware was being washed in the wait station handwash sink then toweled off before air drying. The problem is you don’t see “sanitized” in that whole process.

“No drainboards or equivalent provided for soiled items and/or air drying cleaned items.”

The inspector saw somebody “handle soiled wares with gloved hands then proceed to handle clean wares.”

The Laurels got back open Monday, four days after the original inspection, but still have Follow-Up Inspection Required.

Rave Pizza & Sushi, 7300 W. Camino Real, Suite 102, Unincorporated Palm Beach: Routine inspection, one total violation, one High Priority violation.

”Roach activity present as evidenced by live roaches found. Eight live roaches found on the walls and floor around the ice machine in the kitchen. Two of the 8 roaches have been exterminated.”

If this looks familiar, the inspector said the same thing on the same day about Carmela’s (see above), one of Rave’s neighbors.

Rave could have a rave-up after passing the comeback inspection the next day.

Shahi Ellie’s Restaurant, 12161 Sheridan St., Cooper City: Routine inspection, 11 total violations, two High Priority violations.

The air conditioning vents and ceiling tiles in the kitchen were marred by an “accumulation of black, mold-like substance buildup.”

“Employee with no hair restraint while engaging in food preparation.” Who? “Chef.”

“Observed employee smoking while engaging in food preparation.” This snapshot out of many pre-1990s home kitchens — and the original opening credits of “Married With Children” — rarely gets spotted today in restaurants.

The kitchen handwash sink lacked soap or a drying method. The handwash sink at the prep station drained slowly enough to be called “standing water.”

The low handwash sink usage implied in those deficiencies becomes more bothersome when the inspector notes “Employee touching ready-to-eat food with their bare hands...observed an employee touch cooked pitta bread with bare hands.”

A bag of sugar was stored on the dry storage floor. Cooking oil and chicken sat directly on the kitchen floor.

There’s the invitation. And, here came the party, as demonstrated by five rodent droppings in dry storage and eight in a prep area under a handwash sink. They dumped 100 pieces of regularity on the dishwashing machine and another 30 pieces under cookline cooking equipment. Next to the cookline is the three-compartment sink and 20 more poop pellets were under that.

Shahi got out a broom and passed the next day’s comeback inspection.