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20,000 men reveal why they are single

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Getty Images

“Guys, why are you single?”

This question was posed last week by a Reddit user and has since gone viral, with more than 21,000 men revealing their brutally honest — sometimes heart-wrenching, sometimes funny responses — as to why they don’t have a significant other.

As one man sums it up, he sucks at being a boyfriend for more than one month:

VanInhalen: “I’m single because I’m tired of being in relationships. Being in a relationship is a full-time job whether people realize that or not. It’s now become a mixture of a fear of commitment, not finding the rightish person, and just genuinely enjoying going off the grid for a week without having to consistently text/call somebody. The moment it feels like work, thats (sic) the moment I hit the road. Pretty selfish and a bit cowardly, but I am the man I am.”

Parental issues are often to blame:

Dicksyclopedia: “When you get into a serious relationship, seek couples counseling as soon as your (sic) comfortable. My dad was divorced thrice, my mom twice, and I had no clue how to be married. Counseling was a huge step. Your parents may have taught you what NOT to do, but they sure didn’t teach you what you need to do.”

Rufio6: “Freedom. Insecurity. My mom racked up 6 divorces, my dad had 4. Just working on my career for now. If love happens, it happens. The likely (real) answer is that I don’t put myself in positions to meet new people, and dating apps suck.”

Yup. It seems like more than a few men haven’t had much luck swiping right for love:

BrexitMyPants: “…I’m 35 and newly single (divorce) and the ladies on dating websites my age are f***ing horrific (in my city, which isn’t big) I’m on Tinder but I think I’m breaking rules one and two. Currently planning on buying a dog and paying escorts and then dying alone. Ah well, at least I have friends.”

Misterwhisper: “…Everyone flits from date to date, not committing to much. Why commit to anyone when there are a hundred people you can match with on Tinder, Okcupid, Happn, Feeld, etc.”

Some men simply prefer being single as they say relationships are too complicated:

JedLeland: “I’ve just stopped trying. I’m too awkward to connect with most people on a romantic level, and the times I have connected with someone, they’ve almost invariably turned out to be toxic in one form or other. I do get lonely, but I’ve found that’s a lot less painful than either rejection or just being with a very wrong person.”

One common reason for singledom is low self-confidence—interesting, since confidence seems to be a major quality single men find irresistible in women.

Another-redditor3 wrote :

“i wouldnt date me, and i wouldnt expect someone else would want to either.
things going against me
ive never dated, and im now 30. id have to imagine thats a huge red flag right there
still live at home
unemployed
zero social life…”

While novelty_bone admitted: “being fat and shy surely isn’t helping me out.”

Perhaps not. But novelty_bone received well over 100 tips on how to overcome shyness.

Drawing_you: “Tip from a lady: the shyness will hinder you infinitely more than any physical flaws you may have. Confidence will override these flaws the majority of the time.”

Amworkinghere: “You have to not care. It’s hard to do when you don’t have a girlfriend. But 100% don’t treat a pretty woman any different than you do your male friends. This is also the best way to find the person that you can hang out with on a daily basis.”

Fire42uck: “The things that helped me become confident were the realization that people aren’t judging me as much as I thought they were, and the idea that I should be doing things for their own sake, not for their results.”

You can view the complete Reddit post here.

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