Marriage is a surprisingly universal experience, and we have the tweets to prove it.
Below, 25 spot-on tweets you’ll definitely identify with if you’re a husband or wife.
I’ve reached the point in my marriage that my husband fell asleep on the couch and OMG I AM SO EXCITED I GET THE BED ALL TO MYSELF
— Lady Lawya (@Parkerlawyer) October 15, 2017
I sent my wife a text.
Her typing bubble popped up for 10 minutes.
All she sent me was "K."
I'm as good as dead.
— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) October 16, 2017
me *hits back of wife's leg with the cart* Funny running into you h-
wife: Go wait in the car
— Josh (@iwearaonesie) October 12, 2017
My husband wrote a note so he would remember to ask me how my hair appt went, in case you're wondering what it's like to be married 25 yrs.
— ᑌᖇᔕᑌᒪᗩ(s) (@3sunzzz) October 17, 2017
[kids gone for the evening]
wife: DATE NIGHT???
me: DATE NIGHT!!!
[we fall asleep watching 60 minutes]
— Grant Tanaka (@GrantTanaka) October 16, 2017
I picked a restaurant
- marriage sext
— Jeff️ (@JeffSarcastic) July 5, 2016
"I really like our fall wreath this year"
Is a thing I instinctively say because I'm finally getting good at marriage.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) October 11, 2017
“You’re just getting in the shower NOW???” - Me to my husband 10 minutes before we’re supposed to leave for any event
— SpacedMom (@copymama) October 22, 2017
ME: we’re not getting any younger. the decisions we make now will affect our future
WIFE: *holding phone to chest* do you want guac or not?
— rob HELLiott (@rockymomax) October 15, 2017
Relationship status: I must be the authority because my wife always questions me.
— Boyd's Backyard (@TheBoydP) October 11, 2017
Idk how many times my wife will yell down the stairs without the kids responding
So far, it's more than 36.
— Jackson (@kerouac741) October 22, 2017
My favorite thing about being married is having someone to follow me around and shut off all the lights in every room of the house.
— bubble girl (@JessObsess) September 28, 2017
Accidentally sent my husband a nice text when I was waiting for him to notice we weren’t speaking because I was vaguely mad about something.
— EricaTriesToTrick (@EricaWhoToYou) October 25, 2017
So, I’m not certain what the perfect tenth anniversary gift is...
But according to my wife, it’s not a BFF necklace from Claire’s Boutique.
— AmishPornStar (@AmishPornStar1) October 18, 2017
Me: *sets down my beer*
Wife, three rooms away: I didn't hear a coaster.
— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) October 14, 2017
ME: you know what they say, measure once, cut twice
WIFE: that's not right. What did you just build?
*kids fall out of treehouse*
— Very Scary Kalvin (@KalvinMacleod) May 4, 2015
My wife asked me to slice up 4 blocks of cheese for a cheese tray to take to a party. We ended up bringing a cake.
— Dan (@Social_Mime) October 19, 2017
me: Good morning
wife [not talking to me because of something I said in her dream]
— Josh (@iwearaonesie) October 24, 2017
Wife: How many times have I told you NOT to use my face moisturizer as body lotion?
Me: *skin absolutely glowing* is this a trick question?
— PunchyK (@AnkCoupleTO) April 19, 2017
Me: Did I snore last night?
My wife: No you woke up screaming from a nightmare.
— Phil (@geowizzacist) October 8, 2017
Riddle: If a couple has been married for 25 yrs and they go car shopping in the rain, how long until they fall out of love?
Answer: 14 mins
— ᑌᖇᔕᑌᒪᗩ(s) (@3sunzzz) October 10, 2017
My husband arguing with me about how I like to argue is the spark that keeps this marriage alive.
— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) October 22, 2017
Only marriage can turn a missing spatula into an act of war.
— Jersey Devil (@better_off_dad) October 15, 2017
Say what you will about Facebook but when my wife sees posts by my extended family, at least I don’t look so bad.
— Boyd's Backyard (@TheBoydP) October 22, 2017
WIFE: I'm having friends over tonight but ur welcome to hang out with us
NARRATOR: but he didn't hang out with them, not even for a second
— Very Scary Kalvin (@KalvinMacleod) October 21, 2017
- This article originally appeared on HuffPost.
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