8 'Polite' Habits That Might Be Bugging Your Host

We're in the midst of holiday party season. The best way to get invited back next year? Listen to your host and ignore these seemingly polite habits, even if you mean well.

8 Ways You Might Be Bugging Your Host

Arriving Early

You might think you’re doing the host a favor by showing up early to help. That’s what good guests do, right? Not so fast. Showing up early puts pressure on the other person to entertain you. They might also need time to get ready, creating an awkward situation if they need to step away to shower and dress. Unless a prompt arrival is requested, aim to arrive 15 to 20 minutes after the scheduled start time.

Greeting the Host with a Hug and Kiss

A squeeze and a peck on the cheek might seem like a gesture of warmth and friendliness, but it won’t always be received that way. Not all people—hosts or guests—welcome this slightly more intimate greeting, and it can start the gathering off on the wrong foot. Shake someone’s hand if it is offered first, or ask the other person first if you can hug them. Otherwise, a warm smile is a safer bet.  

Insisting on Helping

Hosts always try to do it all, so why not jump in to help if you’re willing? When you enter another’s home, you are on their turf. Jumping in without being asked can come off as saying, “I don’t like the way you’re doing things and don’t trust that you can pull this off, so I’m going to step in and do it my way.” Ask first if they need help with anything and respect their answer. If they do ask for help, follow up by asking if there’s a certain way they’d like something done.

Bringing an Unrequested Dish

Only bad guests show up empty handed, right? Wrong. If your host says the menu is covered, believe them. Bringing your famous pasta bake or fudgy brownies, even if you know others would enjoy them, is can be perceived as an underhanded way of saying you don’t think what the host serves will be sufficient. If you are asked to bring something specific, stick to that. This goes double for a themed gathering (your seven-layer dip won’t be welcome at an afternoon tea party).

Bringing an Unwanted Gift

Still can’t bear to arrive empty-handed? If you don’t know your host’s preferences, gifts like a bottle of wine or scented candle will just add more clutter to her home. Fresh flowers can be a high-maintenance gift: The host will need to find a vase, care for them, and eventually dispose of them. Other food gifts also might not be welcome if there are allergies you don’t know about.

Not Telling Your Host About Dietary Restrictions

This could actually really hurt the host, who will be disappointed if one guest can’t be accommodated like the others. It’s also much more of an imposition to tell them at the party than before. The host will likely want to provide options.

Opening Another Bottle Without Asking

This usually applies to smaller gatherings that are beyond the midpoint of the event. Opening a bottle, especially a corked one, and drinking just a little means the host will have to find a way to stopper the bottle and must drink it within a short window. If it isn’t opened, she can keep it for any future occasion. Ask the host and other guests if they’d like to open the bottle, keeping in mind that they might decline if they have to drive home.   

Staying Late to 'Keep the Host Company'

You might think you’re leaving the host alone with a big mess, but unless they ask for help, chances are they wants you out of the way so they can get her home back in order. If you stay, they'll feel obligated to keep playing host when she might be socially spent. Take your departure cue from the host (likely when tidying up begins) and from when other guests leave. Take your dish with you if you brought one, thank the host for the event, and say goodbye.   

Read the original article on ALLRECIPES