Alan Cumming says ‘Hollywood saved me’ from feeling suicidal

·TV Reporter
·2 min read
NEW YORK, NEW YORK - OCTOBER 18: Alan Cumming attends the Golden Heart Awards 2021 benefiting God's Love We Deliver at The Glasshouse on October 18, 2021 in New York City. (Photo by Sean Zanni/Patrick McMullan via Getty Images)
Alan Cumming shared how low he felt on the day of his GoldenEye audition. (Getty Images)

Alan Cumming has opened up on feeling suicidal the day that he auditioned for GoldenEye, admitting "Hollywood saved me".

The Scottish actor is well known for his role as Russian computer genius Boris Grishenko in the James Bond film from 1995, but has shared an emotional story about the real-life heartbreak that he was experiencing at the time.

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Speaking to CBS Mornings in the US about his latest memoir, Baggage: Tales from a Fully Packed Life, he revealed that he had been feeling "really, really, really low" when he went for the audition.

The actor, now 56, was going through a divorce from wife Hilary Lyon and was struggling with his mental health when he went up for the part.

Polish actress Izabella Scorupco and Scottish actor Alan Cumming star as Russian computer programmers in the James Bond film 'GoldenEye', 1995. (Photo by Keith Hamshere/Getty Images)
Izabella Scorupco and Alan Cumming in 'GoldenEye' (Keith Hamshere/Getty Images)

He said: "It was one of the worst days of my life actually. I felt really, really, really low. I just now think, 'Oh you poor little thing, you could've said I am feeling suicidal today.'

"That's something I realised when I was writing, like, 'oh my God, Hollywood saved me.'"

Cumming also explained how he coped with difficult times in his life, sharing that he liked to try to move on from bad experiences.

He said: "I have this sort of mantra, which is 'cancel, continue.' When something bad happens I think, 'okay that happened, we can't change that, let's move on.'"

NEW YORK, NEW YORK - OCTOBER 07: Alan Cumming attends the 2021 Hudson River Park Gala at Pier Sixty at Chelsea Piers on October 07, 2021 in New York City. (Photo by Jamie McCarthy/Getty Images for Friends of Hudson River Park)
Alan Cumming credited Hollywood with saving his life. (Getty Images for Friends of Hudson River Park)

The Tony Award-winning actor, who has been married to Grant Shaffer since 2007, has previously published another memoir, the 2014 book Not My Father's Son where he wrote about the abuse he suffered from his father.

Read more: Alan Cumming explains why he walked away from Harry Potter

Cumming added that the "baggage" he felt from his early life experiences was a part of the inspiration for his new memoir.

He said: "When I was 28, I suddenly remembered all this stuff from my childhood. It's still with me, I still get triggered by things. And we all have baggage, we all have trauma."

For confidential emotional support at times of distress, contact The Samaritans at any time by calling 116 123 or emailing jo@samaritans.org.

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