This week’s episode of The Apprentice will have got very different reactions depending which side of the border it’s viewed from.
As soon as Camilla learned that the task was set in Glasgow, she treated us to her painfully inaccurate Scottish accent. Then, for good measure, she confessed that she has “no experience with Glaswegians.”
While Sarah-Ann, speculating on the theme of the task, inquired “What’s the things in Scotland?” and the conversation instantly turned to deep-fried Mars Bars, because that’s the first thing you think of when you think of Scotland, apparently.
So The Apprentice has definitely won the hearts of any Scots watching. In fact, the task kicked off at the Glasgow Art Gallery and revolved around selling art.
Just in case the candidates said something too reductive and insulting and precipitate a riot, Lord Sugar gave the task briefing via videolink from London.
Either that, or he’s one of the huge number of Apprentice fans who are watching I’m A Celebrity instead!
For Collaborative, Jackie talked a good game and effortlessly got the Project Manager job.
Meanwhile Tom made a good case for being project manager for the team we’re still just about calling Typhoon, even though Trigger’s Broom might be a better name, given how many reshuffles there have been.
With some deft argument, though, Jasmine managed to score the job. Wonder if she’ll come to regret that?
The two teams were assigned a corporate client each and sent off to meet a few artists. The first was a talented woman with an interesting story who made fascinating little drawings with her eyes shut. Very attractive and easy to sell at volume, so neither of the teams chose her.
Instead Typhoon plumped for some impressively weird sculptures and Collaborative went for some very ‘marmite’ abstract oil paintings. Not before Daniel had changed PM Jackie’s mind for her at least twice.
Jackie: “It would be easy to sell.”
Daniel: “I think it’s too minimal.”
Jackie: “I agree.”
Wait for it…
Sarah Ann, Camilla and Khadija were dispatched to the HQ of their corporate client, a high-end hi-fi manufacturer, to get a feel for what kind of art they might want. The clients, deeply in love with their products, insisted on playing the girls some music so they could get a sense of just how lovely the speakers were.
Unfortunately it was the kind of classical music with no obvious clue to tell you where the end is, so poor Sarah Ann kept blurting out question in the piece’s numerous pauses.
The clients also had a handy, memorable, easily-understood motto of ‘Innovation, provenance, experience.’ Which no-one quite understood.
Much to Daniel’s amusement. There was very nearly a dangerous ‘open mic’ moment where the phone call ended later than he realised, and he had already started telling Jackie what he thought of Sarah Ann, Camilla and Khadija.
Go big or go home?
Over on the other team Jasmine was taking her PM position seriously. “If there was every a time to go big or go home, this is it.”
Go big. Or go home. Now, what do we know about the Apprentice editing team and foreshadowing?
So to the art gallery. And so to Daniel’s special Art Hair. It’s increasingly apparent that Sabrina is getting on everybody’s nerves. But then, increasingly, everyone is getting on everyone’s nerves.
And everybody is working hard on their Art Waffle. While Daniel is doing best at the empty hogwash, Jasmine is giving him a good run for his money.
Best joke of the night, though, was when she sold the plaque with a raised ice-cream-cone shape on it. “it’s a relief” she said. And yes, it was.
At the end of the art gallery sale, Jasmine called everyone in for The Most Insincere Group Hug In History.
Yes, including Sabrina.
It’s go home
Then it was time to go to the boardroom for some of Lord Sugar’s ‘jokes.’’ This week, he added a clunky misquotation of Andy Warhol to the mix.
Typhoon, by dint of having completely missed the brief with the corporate client, came second, and Jasmine, Sabrina and Tom were called back in.
It really looked, for the longest time, as if Sabrina might be for the chop – and she sort of deserved to get it after saying “I’m in tennis events, sports are completely different – but in a surprise twist it was Jasmine that went home.
And we were give a powerful impression that the long-overdue double eviction was coming, but it was not to be.
All in all, after two absolutely classic episodes, this was a bit weaker. But at least we all know what ‘provenance’ means now.