Why Ayesha Curry wants her kids to see her bad days, too: 'It was years of undoing of what I was taught as a child'
Food Network personality Ayesha Curry revealed her hopes for her three children with husband, basketball star Steph Curry, and the parenting difficulties she faces.
Speaking with sisters Erin and Sara Foster on The World’s First Podcast, the 33-year-old shared that she struggles with her mental health, and wants to make sure she is still a present mom when she is going through hard times.
“I realize all of the blessings that my family and I have, I’m super, hyper aware of that, and I’m very grateful and I try to live with a sense of gratitude and instill that in my kids,” she explained. “But at the end of the day, I have a bit of depression in my family that’s hereditary, that I’m aware of, and I try to stay on top of it and be hyper aware, but some days it gets the best of me, and I don’t want to get out of my bed — but I have to, because I have three children who are depending on me.”
Curry — who is mom to daughters Riley, 10, and Ryan, 7, as well as son Canon, 4 — added that while some days she wants to “go in my shower and cry, and I don’t even know why I’m crying,” she’s found a way to accept those feelings.
“What I had to start telling myself, through a lot of therapy and self-care, is that it’s OK to have those days sometimes,” Curry noted. “Let the thoughts happen, let the feelings happen, let them flow out. For me, it was years of undoing of what I was taught as a child, which was to suppress, suppress, suppress. It was years of learning how to undo that, to let it flow through. Crying is not a bad thing, it’s fine — and I cry a lot, you guys, and I’m proud of it.”
She added that she believes showing that side of herself to her kids on occasion will ultimately benefit them.
“A lot of mornings, it’s knowing that I have these little humans who are relying on me and that are looking to me for how to think, how to act, what to feel … so, for me, it’s making sure that I put on a good face for them, even when it’s not so good,” Curry continued. “That’s OK, I want them to be able to see that. And sometimes, it’s sharing the not-so-great moments with them, and allowing them to know they can be human and they can feel things. That’s been different for me with my parenting style, from when I grew up.”
Curry, who had her first child at 22, also spoke about feeling like she didn’t know who she was when she became a mom and that she “didn’t know what I was getting myself into.”
“I didn’t know what type of parent I wanted to be, or what my philosophy on life was, or what I even wanted for myself,” the actress shared. “So sometimes I’m like, ‘Is it fair to them that I brought them into this unknown situation and they had to figure it out with me?’”
At the end of the day, however, Curry said her hopes for her kids are simple.
“Bottom line, I just want to raise children that are going to grow into these adults that are generous and compassionate and just nice people. There really isn’t much more to it,” she explained. “I couldn’t care less what they decide to do in their career or how successful they end up in life. The success is in, ‘Are you a kind, nice, genuine person?’ I feel like if we can accomplish that, then we’ve done enough, and I’ll have no complaints.”
She also wants her children, and especially her girls, to be aware of how “powerful” their minds and bodies are.
“I didn’t learn any of that stuff growing up,” she added. “I didn’t understand how valuable this shell is, and how powerful it can be, and I how I can have control over it — so for me, it’s making sure they know they have control over that. Their mind is powerful, their bodies are powerful. From a parenting perspective, it’s allowing them to understand their whole self.”
In October 2021, Curry spoke to Yahoo Life about how she manages her mental health. She shared the best advice she was ever given, which was, “Don’t sweat the small stuff.”
“I'm an empath by nature and I carry the day with me. I don't even just carry the day: I carry the week. I carry the month,” she said at the time. “And when you start to unravel all of that, you notice a lot of things are there dragging you down. So when you try not to sweat those little things, you just realize, ‘Hey, we're OK. My kids are fed. Everybody's healthy. We're good. We're stress-free.’ And that helps.”
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