As married life moves forward and kids and bills start to take center stage, many couples struggle to maintain their initial state of happiness and contentment well beyond the first year. But just because that pleasure seems to have dwindled doesn't mean that you can't get back to where you started. Here are the top 10 ways to channel your former spark so you can regain your honeymoon happiness.
1. Seek Out Each Other's Company: With the demands of everyday life keeping socializing at a minimum, married couples often use their free time as an excuse for a "girls' night out" or a "guys' night in" playing poker. It's important to maintain relationships with friends, but don't overlook the best friend you married. Newlyweds know the importance of cultivating a friendship with their spouse and seek them out for their love, support and laughter.
2. Allow Yourself to be in the Mood: How many times as a newlywed did you say, "Not now, honey, I have a headache?" Probably not too many! Back then, the thought of being intimate with your sweetie was enough to snap you out of any funk. Just because you are a little sleepy or cranky doesn't mean that your night can't become a lot more pleasurable. Newlyweds know that a night of passion can do wonders for your well-being and relationship. Besides, a little lovemaking can actually help you sleep more soundly, while also taking your mind off of that "headache."
Related: 10 Kisses You've Never Tried
3. Change Topics:Newlyweds usually don't spend endless hours carrying on about work, carpooling or annoying PTA parents. Don't be a broken record of complaints! Instead, travel back in time to the days when you guys had something other than grievances to talk about. Maybe you heard a funny joke from a colleague today, or you want to talk about an upcoming birthday party. Whatever it is, don't let it always be negative. Your positivity will be a welcome change for your equally stressed husband and he will be that much more open to talking to you because of it.
4. Get Dressed:Whether staying in or going out, a newly married woman is still giving it all she's got. Cute negligees and matching underwear are a must for her, as are proper "going-out" clothes. Take pride in your appearance and leave the sweats and running shoes strictly for the gym. Try to put a little more effort into your appearance. The payoff will be huge as you will feel sexier and more confident, and he will appreciate the pretty woman he calls his wife.
5. Plan Something Exciting Together: Being a newlywed is all about planning your life together with joy and excitement. You and your husband can channel that same enthusiasm by planning a weekend getaway or vacation together that you would both equally enjoy. The build-up to the trip will serve as a great reminder that you guys still have so much to look forward to.
6. Ditch the Distractions: Put down your iPhone, get off of Facebook and start giving your husband your undivided attention again. First step: Make sure that you are always looking him in the eyes when you are speaking to him. This seemingly simple gesture has major impact and promotes confidence and trust. Newlyweds know the value in making one another feel special and attended to. Don't rush to end the conversation so you can do something else. Showing that you are genuinely interested in what he has to say will draw you both closer. Who knows? Maybe all that eye contact will lead to something spicy and involving a lot less talk.
7. Be Spontaneous: Don't always look for a reason to do something. Sometimes it's fun to go out for dinner just because you feel like it. Not micromanaging every aspect of your lives together allows for more flexibility and therefore more opportunities for fun. Who says sex has to be reserved for the bedroom, or that seeing a movie is only for a Friday night? Learn to go with the moment. It could take you to some very, very good places!
Related: 7 New Date-Night Ideas
8. Show Some Appreciation:When you first got hitched, showering your husband with appreciation and love was probably a given. But after a while, the novelty of him mowing the lawn wore off and his actions sometimes went unnoticed. Well, it's time to start using your manners again! Get back to basics, and start incorporating "please" and "thank you" into your daily dialogue with your husband. Men need validation the same way women do. Showing your support and approval is key for a healthy marriage. It's important that you go out of your way to remind him that you appreciate all that he does -- even if it's something simple like taking out the dog so you don't have to!
9. Sleep in on a Saturday: You don't always have to go from a hectic week to a hectweekend! Instead, reschedule some of your Saturday morning errands so you and your husband can actually sleep in together. Allow yourselves the opportunity to be lazy and relaxed. Even if it's only for an extra hour, indulging in an early-morning snuggle is very reminiscent of newlywed days when you actually looked forward to spending the weekend with one another as opposed to running around from store to store.
10. Invite the In-Laws Over: Still on the high from the nuptials, a lot of newlyweds are yet to become wary of their intrusive or less-than-friendly in-laws. Hosting your husband's family with open arms will show him that you recognize the importance of family, which will ultimately inspire him to do the same in return. The holidays will become much less tense, alleviating a lot of the unnecessary stress and fighting, making for a happier marriage.
-by Samantha Jonas-Hain
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