16 Ways a Better You Leads to a Better Love Life

Love + Sex

Over at YourTango.com, we are all about the adage that it's as important to be the right person in your relationship as it is to find the right person.

Anyone who's been in a relationship knows that it takes finesse to maintain a happy "we" without sacrificing a happy "me," and vice versa. With this idea in mind, we have created Irresistible You, a 12-day initiative focused on helping you feel irresistible so your love life will, in turn, feel amazing, too.

Our first step was to find out what makes women (and men!) feel truly irresistible-and how this affects their relationships. From May 30 through June 19, 2012, we surveyed 717 YourTango readers about irresistibility, attraction, self-esteem and relationship satisfaction. The results are fascinating-check 'em out:

1. Feeling unattractive can damage a relationship.
90 percent of respondents said feeling attractive somewhat to hugely influences their overall relationship happiness. Just 10 percent said feeling attractive didn't have much or any effect on their relationship happiness.

2. Confidence and sense of humor are more irresistible than looks.
89 percent of respondents agreed that many relationship issues arise because one or both partners lack confidence in themselves. Additionally, respondents said "self-confidence" was the second-most irresistible quality in a mate-after a great sense of humor. Intelligence was the third-most irresistible trait, followed by the person's face, body and accomplishments. "What he/she is wearing" ranked last. Makes you think twice before prepping for a date, right?

3. Being in a relationship is not a quick-fix to feeling attractive.

We asked if being in a relationship made respondents feel more, less or "about the same" beautiful. Half of women surveyed said being in a relationship doesn't change how they feel about their looks, since they feel beautiful for other reasons, while just over half-46.5 percent-said being in a relationship made them feel more beautiful. Just 3 percent reported feeling less beautiful when in a relationship.

4. The number-one way to feel irresistible is through a healthy lifestyle.
Sixty percent of all respondents chose leading a healthy lifestyle as the activity that helps them feel most beautiful/attractive-the most popular answer for this category. For men, "having sex" came in at #2 and "spending quality time with your significant other" at #3. Curiously, women too, listed "spending quality time" at #3, but it was "buying a new outfit/accessories" that landed at #2 for the ladies, with "having sex" at #6. Also Read: 15 Most Unattractive Things Women Do In Relationships

5. Our weight/fitness level matters more to our self-esteem than our relationships.
Yes, you read that correctly-women ranked "weight/fitness level" as the most influential factor affecting their self-esteem, while men interestingly reported the state of their relationships to be the most influential. Check out the complete lists below, from most to least important:

My weight/fitness level
The state of my relationship
Feeling balanced/spiritually connected
The state of my friendships
My activities/hobbies
Career/job success/income
What I'm wearing

The state of my relationship
My weight/fitness level
My activities/hobbies
Feeling balanced/spiritually connected
The state of my friendships
Career/job success/income
What I'm wearing

6. Our self-esteems could use a boost. Only 12 percent of women surveyed said they have "high" self-esteem. Though 39 percent called it "mostly good," the remainder acknowledged they have low self-esteem or that there's "room for improvement"-making it clear that a large segment of women could benefit from those aforementioned esteem-boosting activities!

7. The eyes have it. When asked to choose their favorite body part/feature, the greatest percentage of men and women-40 percent-chose "eyes," followed by their lips/smile. When asked which body part they like least, women reported disliking their legs the most, then arms. Men chose "hair," then "nose."

8. Men and women both like butts (we cannot lie!) When asked which body part respondents' current or past partners preferred, the greatest percentage of both sexes chose their backside, followed by their lips/smile.

9. Perfume and mascara are the most irresistible beauty products.
The majority of respondents favored perfume as their go-to beauty product for feeling irresistible. Mascara came in second, eyeliner/eye shadow third, and lipstick/lip gloss was fourth, followed by bronzer and blush. In other words, keep it simple.

10. The mirror tells us a great deal.
When measuring our physical beauty, our own perception of what we look like is generally the most important. Half of respondents reported "how I feel when I look in the mirror" most affected how they viewed their own physical beauty, while 23 percent said "how I feel about myself on the inside trumps any external sign of beauty." Just under a fifth of respondents said they judged their physical beauty based on "compliments/the attention I receive," and 9 percent chose "the number on the scale/how my clothes fit." Also Read: 20 Funniest Sex Quotes From Romantic Comedies

11. Contrary to popular belief, being content in a relationship doesn't make you fat.
We asked respondents if they're likely to gain weight, lose weight or "stay the same" when content in a relationship. Sixty-one percent said they stay the same weight, while just under a quarter of respondents tend to gain weight, and a lucky 16 percent lose weight when they are happy in love.

12. One-third of women would change their appearance for a partner.
Fifty-seven percent of respondents said they would only change their appearance if they agreed with their partner about the need for a change, but 35 percent would act on it even if they disagreed with their partner. Eight percent insisted it was unlikely they'd make any change whatsoever.

13. Compliments are key to a healthy relationship.
Just over one-third of respondents said, "I have the most confidence in my relationship when my partner/spouse compliments me/tells me how he or she feels about me." A close second, 32.5 percent, reported feeling the most confidence in their relationship when their partner/spouse "really listens to me/gives me his or her full attention."

Twenty percent reported that a spouse/partner's inability to "keep his/her hands off me" most instilled confidence for them, while 13.5 percent chose "doing something selfless for me, like cleaning the house when it's not his/her turn." Just under 1 percent reported that receiving a really great gift is what gives their relationship the biggest confidence boost-we hope they're just kidding!

14. Trying new things together is the #1 way to beat relationship boredom.
While feeling good as an individual greatly influences relationship satisfaction, trying new activities together can make you feel irresistible as a couple. More than half of respondents chose "trying new things together" as the number-one complacency buster in a relationship, while 19 percent chose "doing small gestures like writing love notes and doing the other's chores," and 16 percent said going on dates is the antidote to a ho-hum relationship. Just 9 percent voted for sex as the key to beating boredom, while "staying in shape/keeping up one's appearance" came in second-to-last, followed by "doing big gestures like renewing vows and taking vacations together."

15. Ladies love Angelina, but men prefer Jen!
We asked respondents to choose the celebrity they think is most irresistible. Men put Jennifer Aniston first and Angelina Jolie second, with Megan Fox and Heidi Klum tied for third. In a funny reversal, women chose Angelina as the most irresistible female celebrity, with Jen coming in second and Beyoncé a very close third. Also Read: Is Claire Danes Still Sexy Without Makeup On?

16. Men favor George Clooney, but ladies prefer Ryan Gosling and Channing Tatum.
The two sexy actors tied for "most irresistible male celeb," according to women. Men chose George Clooney as the most irresistible, with Brad Pitt second and Ryan Gosling third.

This list is further proof that one person's "irresistible" is another's "resistible"-there's not just one standard of beauty and irresistibility-so shake what your momma gave you and work on being a happy, healthy you in order to create a happy, healthy "you two."

YourTango's Irresistible You initiative runs from July 16-27-check in with our hub each day to get the latest advice and insights on becoming the most irresistible "you" possible. AND sign up to receive our daily newsletter for your chance to win a free Irresistible You ebook.

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