Gena Kaufman, Glamour magazine
There's a very simple thing you can say to boost the happiness in your relationship, but you may be saying it more frequently to your barista than to your boyfriend.
Yep, it's a simple "thank you." New research out of the University of California, Berkeley says that feeling appreciated influences how you act in a relationship, and how much you want to stay in that relationship.
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Researchers asked 50 undergraduates, who had been in relationships for approximately 15 months, to fill out nightly questionnaires for a week about their relationship. The questionnaires focused on appreciation--how appreciated they felt and how appreciative they were toward their partner. On days when people felt more appreciated, they were more likely to report feeling more appreciative toward their partner the next day.
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Nine months later, the participants were given another survey. Those who reported more appreciation were less likely to have broken up and were even more committed to each other at the time.
The researchers say that it's easy in a lot of relationships to take your partner for granted, and to forget why you chose to be with them. It's an easy cycle to fall into, so break it by focusing on what's good in your relationship and by acting kindly towards your guy. The researchers also observed couples ages 18 to 60 in the lab, and found that the more a participant acted understanding and caring, the more appreciated their partner felt and the happier both were in the relationship.
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Well, what are you waiting for? Go do something to make your guy feel appreciated right now! (And don't stop thanking your barista either. He/she provides the caffeine, people!)
Does your boyfriend make you feel appreciated enough? Do you think you return the favor? When's the last time you thanked him?