The most romantic day of the year is upon us and we’re taking the opportunity to dish on our biggest relationship turn-offs.
Yahoo Canada Shine recently spoke to relationship expert Kimberly Moffit to find out what women say is their biggest turn-off.
Moffit finds that in her practice, distraction is the biggest turn-off cited by women. Don’t bring your cell phone to the dinner table, don’t put the game on if she wants to talk – give your partner your undivided attention.
“Being distracted sends a very clear message to your date, and that message is ‘you’re not important. You’re my second priority’,” she says.
We also asked our readers to share their biggest relationship turn-offs. Here’s what you had to say:
Not surprisingly, distraction was also a frequent turn-off cited by our female readers.
“OMG when hockey comes he goes into a another world,” writes user MCG. “I am actually jealous of hockey.”
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Kristen hit the nail on the head when she said, “Biggest relationship turn off is a man who can't put his cell phone down, or constantly needs to flirt and get attention from women. My time is valuable, be present. Also, my attention is more than enough for someone out there, don't take advantage of it because someone else sure won't.”
“The fact that they don't listen enough, or show a general interest in anything we say,” adds Alexia.
“The thing that drives me the most crazy about my husband is that I have recently lost him to the garage as he builds his "dream car". All the money and hours going into this project is absurd, but not near as absurd as the fact he approached me last night upset that I don't help him with his car and only focus on such unimportant things like dishes, laundry, cooking, and mopping floors,” writes Yahoo user Kate.
“Men who won't listen to me while I speak to them, and tell them what is wrong with them, and then fall asleep while I am talking,” writes KIM.
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User Kim says lack of ambition is a deal-breaker for her. “It does not need to be career aspirations but something that they are passionate about in their own life that they wish to contribute a lot of effort to become better at. If a man does not have personal goals outside of the relationship then there is not much we can bring to the table for one another. Have a life outside the relationship is important for both people.”
Violet continues, “Oh that's easy - men who expect you to act like their mommy 95% of the time, taking care of their every little domestic need, finding their socks, protecting their egos and dropping what you are doing to help them with what they are doing at a second's notice - and then want you to morph into their hot mama when they feel that way. Asking too much, giving too little.”
Lack of personal hygiene was also a frequently cited pet peeve of women’s. Not showering frequently enough, leaving dirty clothes all over the place and even blowing snot into the bathroom sink (!) were just some of the examples our readers shared.
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You also had lots of positive things to say about your experience in relationships.
“My husband is a lovely man, and there is nothing about him that DRIVES ME CRAZY. He is funny, thoughtful, kind, and really rather good looking. He does things without being asked, works hard, and we have great conversations,” shares Starfish.
“I love it when you show how deeply you feel and supportive you are when I am sad, or something bad has happened to me,” adds T-TruthHurts.
GeeEm shared a great sentiment, “My husband is a wonderful man. We've been married for 13 yrs now and I love him so much. It has been a process but he is an even better man than when we first married. Still, neither of us are perfect. If we focused on our faults, how could anyone benefit? Unless the issues are serious, irritations have to be weighed in with the whole picture. Yes deal with the issues, but really; what's more important, tearing apart a person because of the toilet seat or the toothpaste, or is the person more important? We are all our spouse has in facing this rotten world. BE each other's best friend!”