Every few months, a magazine, pop-culture website or retailer will create a composite image of "the perfect woman" using readers' favourite celebrity features.
And (almost) always, the resulting image is an awkward mess.
The "Frankenbarbie," as Jezebel calls her, has Carrie Underwood's hair, Mila Kunis's eyes, Jessica Alba's smile, Sofia Vergara's boobs, Rihanna's abs, Gabrielle Union's arms and Blake Lively's legs.
"Why do we keep doing this—this splicing up and putting back together of women's bodies?" asks Jezebel's Kara Brown. "What is the takeaway here? If only Rihanna got a boob job and Blake Lively did a few more sit-ups they'd each be the perfect woman? All we end up with is a Frankenbarbie who looks neither real nor particularly beautiful, with an aesthetic that is completely unachievable."
The idea is weird enough: take women we consider to be beautiful, and distill them down to one feature. Then put a bunch of those features together to create someone not-as-beautiful.
"Blake Lively is gorgeous, but what really makes her gorgeous is her legs, so I wish I could see a version of her with every other body part swapped out for someone else's," thought no one ever.
To make things weirder, it turns out that the E! Online woman was designed to help promote its new series Botched, in which two Real Housewives plastic-surgeon husbands repair bad plastic surgery.
The image certainly looks, well, "botched." Maybe that was the intention?
"I don't know what's more offensive: that E! thought it was acceptable to objectify women's body parts in such a way that your average serial killer would find creepy, or that Gabrielle Union somehow beat out Emily Blunt for best arms. I mean, come on! Am I right?" writes someecards' Dennis DiClaudio.
Earlier this year, U.K.-based lingerie company Bluebella, created two composite images of the perfect woman: one according to women, the other according to men.
(They also created two images of "perfect men." Apparently women like men with David Beckham's legs, but men are more into Beckham's face. See those images here.)
While Bluebella's Photoshop skills were superior to E! Online's hack job — no inconsistent skin tones here — the resulting figures are still a little "cartoonish-looking," specifically the male version of the perfect woman, with Kim Kardashian's breasts, Megan Fox's face and Scarlett Johansson's hair.
What's wrong with all of Scarlett Johansson? Why just her hair?
Last year, the cosmetics brand Escentual also released images of what men and women consider to be the "perfect woman."
Just as E! Online readers did, both men and women voted for Mila Kunis's eyes. And, just like Bluebella's women, the one with features chosen by women had dark hair, while the male-created woman was a pouty blonde.
Another "ideal woman celebrity," created from a British supermarket survey in 2013, turned out to be downright terrifying in a Mrs. Potato Head kind of way.
A while a 2012 image of the "ultimate celebrity" actually ended up looking quite human, it was almost boring in its perfection.
If anything, these composite women should teach us that, A, Photoshop is not in everyone's skill set, and, B, individual features pieced together don't make us beautiful. Embrace the whole person — imperfections included.