The prickly-faced and altruistic month of Movember is here, when men grow questionable facial hair to raise awareness and funds for prostate cancer, and women endure boyfriends and husbands that suddenly look like Groucho Marx/Tom Selleck/Colonel Sanders.
But question is, do the ladies even like moustaches? And what about goatees, and beards? And what exactly does a fella's facial hair say about him?
For those of you suffering sleepless nights next to your hairy man while pondering these questions, the folks over at Match.com have taken it upon themselves to answer these pressing questions as Movember approaches. They surveyed 1054 Canadian men and women about all things facial hair-related, and the results may surprise you.
Also see: How women can get involved in Movember
First up, moustaches. As it turns out, the ladies are decidedly against them. Only eight per cent said they found them attractive, yet when it comes to the men who choose to sport them, moustached guys consider themselves cassanovas. They're the most likely to kiss on a first date (42 per cent) and almost half think nothing of "doing the deed" on the first date.
Next, the goatee. These guys move fast. They're the most likely to have a one night stand — 75 per cent have had one.
Not so for the bearded man. They're the least likely to have asked a girl on a date in the past year (only 16 per cent took the initiative) And 30 per cent of bearded guys reported that they have not had sex in the past year. Sad bearded man!
And now, the lady-lover: stubbly guy. He believes in love at first sight (85 per cent) and thinks about sex pretty much constantly — 53 per cent think about it several times a day.
But at the end of the day, ladies love a gentleman with a clean-shaven face, by far the most popular look among the women surveyed (62 per cent prefer it).
So if you're cringing at the impending fuzz that will soon be creeping across the upper lip of your significant other, you're not alone. Also, it's only a month, and when December first rolls around and he goes from being Zach Galifianakis back to Harry Connick Jr., you'll appreciate it that much more. Not that we don't love Zach Galifianakis, because we do, we do.