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Royal bump watch: Every woman’s nightmare

Nadine Kalinauskas
Shine On
November 29, 2012

Bump watch. It has to stop.

It seems that every other day there's another speculative story about Kate "Likely Pregnant" Middleton.

See more: Parents give baby girl Twitter-inspired name

Photos are studied. Her waist is zoomed in on. We note if she's drinking wine or water. Magazine editors publish unflattering angles, using ugly arrows to point out her less-than-concave stomach.

If she's not pregnant, those marked-up photos just told a lovely lithe woman that she looks like she's with child.

No non-pregnant woman wants the world staring at her stomach, wondering if she's about to pop out a baby. No pregnant woman wants the world staring at her stomach, making pregnancy announcements long before she's ready to do so.

See more: Things no one told us about having a baby

Why should we have inside access to a stranger's reproductive life, anyway?

(When the media isn't noticing a baby bump, it's pointing out a too-thin frame. The Duchess just can't win.)

Singer Demi Lovato, who has been outspoken out her own insecurities and body issues, came to Kate Middleton's defense when Star magazine published a "bump watch" photo of her with a tiny waist.

"So apparently Kate Middleton (William?) is pregnant because of THIS picture…Are you KIDDING ME?!!" Lovato tweeted.

See more: Kate Middleton reminisces about see-through dress

"And people wonder why girls/guys have body image issues. Whether she is or not, she still has a beautiful body. Shame on you Star magazine," she added.

Last year, Alyson Hannigan responded to the pregnancy speculation that stemmed from an unflattering shot of her.

"NO, I'm not pregnant!" Hannigan tweeted. "I just ate too much carnival food, that time of the month, hurt my back & couldn't suck my gut in, and need to do cardio!"

She added: "And I'm NEVER gonna wear that shirt again!!!"

Melanie Klein wrote about the age of "bump watch" in an article for Feminist Fatale last year:

"The tabloids' ridiculous obsession with the baby-bump and the post-baby body has not helped pregnant women feel any better about the changes their body goes through. In fact, it's just 'another way to make a woman feel fat.'"

Photos: Kate's laid-back look

Jessica Sagar defends Blake Lively from newlywed bump watch over at Gurl.com:

"Listen: Girls eat. Married women eat. And sometimes we look happy. And though Blake Lively has previously expressed her love of both baking and children (she told Allure a while back that she wouldn't mind having like, 30 kids — watch out, Duggars!), the fact that she's smiling and indulging in food doesn't mean she has a bun in her oven right now." she writes.

If a royal baby is on the way, we'll know when the Cambridges decide to tell us. Until then, let's put aside the waistline inspections and worry about our own impending turkey babies.

Are you glad no one will be taking your pic after a gluttonous holiday meal?

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