'I'm gonna get a lot of s--- for this': TikTok mom's post about virginity goes viral
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Every parent and child knows that having the "birds and the bees talk" can be a daunting, uncomfortable discussion for all parties involved. While there are arguably several right ways of doing it, one mom on TikTok seems to have it all figured out, and her method has gone viral.
In response to a TikTok trend asking parents to "Name something about the way you raise your kids that people think is weird but you think it's healthy," Cayce LaCorte, known on TikTok as @bookmama, shared her philosophy on ensuring that her daughters make responsible, level-headed decisions when it comes to sex.
"I'm gonna get a lot of shit for this," she began in a video that has more than 2.5 million views. "I am raising my five daughters to believe that there is no such thing as virginity."
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LaCorte went on to explain that the concept of virginity is a social construct designed by men to control women's bodies and ultimately make women feel bad about themselves.
"Just because some guy sticks his penis in you at some point in your life does not change your worth, doesn't change who you are — it doesn't do anything other than it happened," she continued. "Sex is important. It's a big deal. It should always be a big deal. It has nothing to do with your first time. It's just ridiculous. The whole concept is ridiculous."
LaCorte said she often receives criticism from moms who ask her if she's concerned her approach will "make her daughter promiscuous."
"No. I'm raising them to be good people and have sold foundations and make their own choices, and make smart, intelligent choices," she replied. "Not because some book says not to."
LaCorte's video was met with overwhelming praise from other parents who applauded her for raising her daughters without the shame attached to sex.
"As a therapist there is so much praise I want to drop here for you," one TikTok user wrote. "We need to normalize this!"
"You shifted my perspective in 15 seconds, it makes so much sense," another wrote.
"Love this," one mom wrote. "I've always told my daughters it's more important to protect their credit score than their virginity."
Since going viral, LaCorte has made a few follow-up videos on this particular topic, expanding on her theory. She stated that "in the queer community" someone's first time doesn't count as their first time unless it meets a certain criteria — three-fold.
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"It has to be consensual, with a partner of your choice, and you have to climax," she said. "I think we should all adopt this policy that it doesn't count as sex until it meets those three criteria...If it doesn't meet those criteria, then it's attempted sex. Because if it's good enough for murder, then it should be good enough for sex. Attempted sex."
LaCorte had dismissed comments that she's encouraging promiscuity by openly discussing with her daughters how to know they've found the right partner and the right time to have sex.
"I've been telling them, 'When you can have an adult conversation with your partner about sex, when you can talk about protection, talk about past partners, talk about anything that makes you uncomfortable, consent, what you're into and what you're not into,'" she explained. "If they're like 'I can't talk about that,' then you're not ready. Then you don't trust that person enough and you should not put their body parts in your body parts."
LaCorte also made an additional video addressing a comment that she received about someone's first time not being their choice.
"I was raped," one user wrote. "This made me cry. By your standards I'm not soiled. I'm still worth it."
"So many people have said the same thing - that their first time wasn't their choice," LaCorte said in a separate video to address the comment. "It was rape, it was molestation, which is still rape, it was drunken, it was consensual in any way shape or form...it breaks my heart because we put so much value on something that doesn't f—-ing exist...."
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