Colbert on Biden’s Putin summit: better than Trump’s ‘nauseating’ boot-licking

Stephen Colbert

On The Late Show, Stephen Colbert spoke about “an epic confrontation” that finally took place between Joe Biden and Vladimir Putin. Biden entered the meeting, hoping for “predictability and stability” which Colbert called “the most boring Jane Austen novel”.

It lasted for just 3 hours and 21 minutes, which Colbert said was “shorter than expected – much like Vladimir Putin”. After a tense build-up, it was ultimately an underwhelming confrontation. “The only thing that was exciting about it is that this time it was not the most demoralising, nauseating international boot-licking anyone has ever seen,” he said, in reference to Trump’s meeting with Putin.

During a press conference, an ABC news reporter went viral after remarking that anyone who speaks out against Putin is dead or imprisoned – and then asked him what he was afraid of. “That is great. She will be missed,” Colbert joked.

During some of his remarks, Putin said, “There is no happiness, only the spectre of happiness” which led Colbert to say: “You do not want this guy giving a toast at your wedding”.

The day also saw Biden sparring with a CNN reporter, something that Colbert said had “strong grandpa’s-had-enough-of-your-lip energy”.

Trevor Noah

On The Daily Show, Trevor Noah also spoke about Biden and his “diplomacy tour of Europe”, which culminated with his meeting with Putin, “Russian president and man strangling you with a wire right now”.

Noah also referenced Putin’s bleak line about happiness. “What happened in there, people? Did they hold a bilateral meeting or watch Mare of Easttown?”

He followed by saying: “To be fair, Russians are a bleak people” before quipping that Russian soccer moms don’t say “live, laugh, love” but rather “In life, there is no happiness”.

Biden reportedly gave Putin a list of places and structures that were off-limits to any future cyber-attacks. “Look, I get the idea of giving your enemies a redline that you warn them to never cross, but you gotta admit it’s a bad look when they go after the places that didn’t make the cut,” Noah said.

Seth Meyers

On Late Night, Seth Meyers also spoke about Biden’s important Europe tour, building bridges with leaders, “as opposed to the last guy, who openly professed his admiration for dictators”.

The “biggest test” was his meeting with Putin, which involved Biden getting prep from former officials who had also been involved with Trump’s meeting with the Russian president. One of them, Fiona Hill, spoke this week about how she considered using a fire alarm during Trump’s disastrous joint press conference with Putin.

“It would take more than a fire alarm to drown out Trump,” Meyers noted. “The guy spent four years giving press conferences next to a whirring helicopter blade.”

While Biden wanted to hold Russia accountable for the many cyber-attacks and nefarious wrongdoings, he also wanted to avoid conflict because “the last thing anyone should want is a tense confrontation with a nuclear armed country like Russia”.

There was reportedly tension between Russian and American journalists with pushing, shoving and shouting taking place. “Is this a diplomatic meeting or a Metallica concert?”

Samantha Bee

On Full Frontal, Samantha Bee spoke about Republicans melting down over critical race theory entering the classrooms and the outrage that has consumed Fox News.

“The actual concept of it has been around for decades, and – big surprise! – it’s really not scandalous at all,” she said, before showing a clip about how it’s just about the history and continuation of white supremacy.

It started in 2019 after the New York Times published the 1619 Project which “placed the consequences of slavery and the contributions of black Americans at the very centre of our national narrative” which, despite winning a Pulitzer, “failed to take into account the feelings of one truly oppressed group: racist dildos”.

Tucker Carlson called it “grotesque” and “openly racist” while Florida governor Ron DeSantis referred to it as “state-sanctioned racism”.

But as Bee pointed out, “all this nonsensical outrage does have real consequences” as five Republican-led legislatures have limited discussion of race in schools and conservatives in over a dozen other states are considering similar measures.

“Naturally none of this has to really do with education, history or saving the children. Scare tactic wedge issues like these have been a political strategy since the birth of democracy. Republicans have spent decades turning fear-based politics into an artform.”