Although raising children can be one of the most rewarding aspects of life, many moms deal with conflicting emotions of “longing for the past,” while “living in the present and praying for the future,” – and sometimes it’s hard to balance the three, says one mom. Casey Huff, a mom of two young boys and the writer behind the Etched in Home blog, summed up her feelings in a Facebook post that’s quickly going viral.
After she went to bed one late night in March, she heard the familiar cries from the baby monitor.
“It’s a different night, but the same old song and dance,” she wrote. “Your long legs dangle off the far end of my midsection as your lips nuzzle in for a midnight feeding, and it occurs to me just how conflicted this mama heart of mine is.”
“I both long for the nights when the whole of your body fit cradled in just one of my arms, and look forward to the nights when you will sleep all the way through, giving me permission to take my own sleep in one big, dreamy lump sum.”
“I long for the cling of your newborn fingers, yet I look forward to the days when you don’t need me quite so much for every little thing.”
Huff says that by reminiscing for what was, and anticipating of what will be, sometimes we forget to recognize the now – overshooting it by the five minutes that it’ll take to finish a task, or the two weeks that it’ll take to get through a difficult phase.
“I don’t want to be so busy longing for for looking for that, (that) I don’t take the time to memorize the faint whispers of your breath or the way your fine hair reflects ever so slightly in the glow of your favorite night light,” she wrote.
“I don’t want to miss out on the curve of your fingers around my thumb, or the way that your feet kick absentmindedly as you nurse in the middle of the night.”
“I didn’t want to get back out of bed tonight; didn’t want to answer your midnight wake up call. But I did, and this moment we’re in — there’s something magical about it.”
So even though her heart is probably always going to long, and her mind is always going to look forward – she’s going to give it her all to not overlook the moments she’s living.
“And tonight, I think I’ll stay here with you for just a while longer.”