This expert wants you to ask your baby before changing its diaper
A question to all parents: Do you ask for your child’s consent before changing their diaper?
An Australian sexuality educator is making headlines for suggesting parents ask their babies for permission before changing their diapers in an effort to teach them the concept of consent.
Deanne Carson works as an educator with Body Safety Australia’s program to empower children and protect them from sexual abuse.
Earlier this week, ABC News in Australia interviewed Carson discussed her work with new parents and how she helps them create and raise children within a “culture of consent.” To help prove her point, Carson used the example of changing a dirty diaper.
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Carson provided an example for parents to follow when their child needs a changing. She suggested parents say, “I’m going to change your nappy now. Is that OK?”
Carson then went on to add, “Of course, the baby is not going to respond: ‘Yes mom, that’s awesome. I’d love to have my nappy changed.’ But if you leave a space and wait for body language and wait to make eye contact, then you’re letting that child know that their response matters.”
After the interview, Carson was met with a firestorm of criticism. Her ideas were called “left lunacy” by a Sky News commentator, Rowan Dean.
Other viewers were surprised by the harsh criticism of Carson, and suggested people look beyond her example at the bigger idea of teaching their children the importance of consent.
Carson issued her own response defending her methods via Facebook that stated, “Sadly, some people have chosen to ridicule me (oh no! Pink hair! Must be a lesbian!) and the notion of giving infants bodily autonomy (poo in nappies har har amiright?!)”
Carson continued, “The work we do with children, teachers and parents is international best practice in abuse prevention… Troll me all you want, add to your blog inches, but remember that when you do, you are negating the voices of these brave survivors of sexual abuse.”
The post has since been deleted by Facebook.
Considering children are often trying to wiggle off the changing table or unable to speak, Carson’s suggestion is slightly extreme. However, there’s an underlying aspect to Carson’s message that is very important: It is never too early to teach your children about consent.
According to RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network), one in 9 girls and one in 53 boys will experience sexual assault by the age of 18. A staggering 93 per cent of all acts of sexual assault are committed by someone the child knows, including parents and other family members.
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From an early age, children should be taught about setting boundaries over their person. Teaching children the importance of “no” and not forcing children to engage in, or receive any physical signs of affection can help foster an understanding of consent. These exercises not only allow children to recognize when someone does something that goes against their “gut feeling” or makes them feel uncomfortable, but encourages them to tell someone they trust whenever they feel like their boundaries have been crossed.
Perhaps another example of a way to impart the importance of consent would have been best. Maybe it was nerves or poor planning, but Carson was right in suggesting parents that begin, and never stop talking to their children about consent from an early age.
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