After My Husband Had an Affair, I Decided to Rebuild Our 25-Year Marriage

From Woman's Day

On a rainy, but joyous day in 2011, Stacey and Jimmy Greene [not their real names] celebrated their 25th wedding anniversary in front of a handful of friends and family. "I felt like the luckiest woman alive," says Stacey.

Then, just eight months later, Stacey discovered her husband texting another woman. Jimmy had met her at a bar, he admitted, and he was having an affair.

Over the next days, Stacey's anger and confusion nearly overwhelmed her. She knew they had grown distant lately and fought about money, but in her more reflective moments, she realized their 25 years of marriage had had as many wonderful times as bad ones. And despite everything, she still loved Jimmy. What if they had another 25 good years ahead of them? Ultimately, she asked him, "Do you want to separate or fix it?"

"Fix it," Jimmy said.

The healing, Stacey says, took about a year. After some initial counseling sessions with their pastor, the Greenes launched a DIY marriage-repair effort, reading relationship books and working to curb harmful behaviors like passive aggression. "I think we are both more aware of each other's needs now," Jimmy says.

It took a while before Stacey trusted her husband enough to let him go away without her for a weekend. She'll never forget the affair, but the two are happy again, maintaining the long-term focus on the good in their marriage that they hope will get them to their 50th wedding anniversary.

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