Jaclyn Hill is opening up about her recent weight gain and online bullying.
In a recent video, the 29-year-old YouTube star and makeup artist revealed to her nearly six million subscribers that she has been struggling to cope with negative comments surrounding her appearance.
“I just feel like the whole world hates me,” Hill said after taking a month long hiatus from her YouTube channel. “I’m sick of people calling me ‘fat.’ Why does that word still exist?”
The Florida native admitted that despite her cheerful persona and signature flawless makeup, she has been suffering from severe anxiety and depression behind the scenes.
“I have never experienced this kind of anxiety in my entire life,” she said. “I don’t feel as though I’m in a strong enough place to actually make a whole video on it or be in a place to give advice on how I’m coping. My body has been reacting to anxiety in a physical way that I’ve never experienced before.”
Professionally, Hill has struggled to come to terms with the failed launch of her cosmetics line, Jaclyn Cosmetics. In June 2019, Hill issued a recall of her debut products after quality control issues lead to customers receiving “lumpy” lipsticks with “white fuzzies” embedded in them.
In the wake of the launch, Hill has done her best to put on a brave face with her fans and followers, calling the ordeal “humiliating.” On top of the public criticism regarding her brand, she has has also faced constant bullying online regarding a recent weight gain.
In August, Hill addressed her weight in an Instagram post, revealing she had gained 20 pounds in seven weeks. “I have never been this insecure about my physical appearance in my life,” she wrote. “Sweatpants are literally the only thing that fits me right now and I’ve had to go up two sizes in my jeans.”
“I’m going to grow. I’m going to gain weight, and I know I keep bringing up the whole weight thing. the reason i do that is not because of my own insecurities but because of what I see on the internet. The constant comments about my weight - it doesn’t stop,” a visibly frustrated Hill told the camera. “Why is it all of a sudden OK to call people fat? Where does this come from? I can’t gain a few pounds, maybe I’m happy, maybe I’m depressed, but I can’t gain a few pounds without the internet calling me fat?You think I look bad? Imagine how I feel when everybody is saying these things to me.”
The Champagne Pop creator even showed off new stretch marks that she has discovered on her hips saying she’s “over” hating her body, and has learned to come to accept her body.
“This is my body. This is where I’m at,” she said. “You guys need to accept that I’ve gained weight. No I’m not pregnant, no I’m not hiding it and pulling a Kylie Jenner. That’s my life. I’m never going to be that girl again.”
The video quickly went viral, with many praising Hill for sharing a body positive message to her followers, many of whom are young women.
“I needed that stretch mark part when I was 14 and watching you,” one follower wrote. “I looked up to you then and I still do now.”
Another added, “Everyone changes and grows and that’s life! You are beautiful, stretch marks and all. You have always been 100% REAL. Keep being you.”