Jake Shears: ‘Coming out at 15 was intense’
Zsa Zsa Gabor, David Bowie and TV evangelists were obsessions of mine when I was eight years old. I was a weird, off-the-wall kid with a strange sense of humour, but I was surrounded by enough people who loved me and knew how to nurture me.
Growing up on a tiny island in northwest Washington was gorgeous. I lived by the water, raised a fawn, watched whales. My parents were quite conservative, but a lot of hippies lived in the area, so a real counterculture existed.
When I started learning how to use the bathroom I wasn’t tall enough, so I had to rest my willy on the edge of the toilet bowl and, once, the lid came down and slammed it. The doctor at the emergency room said that if I’d had a bone in it, I would have broken it.
My sleep life is very active. I snore, get sleep paralysis and have vivid dreams that I’m able to control and then recall once I wake up. Sometimes it gets exhausting, so I have to turn them off slowly, like a tap.
Coming out at 15 in the early 1990s – the only gay kid in a giant public high school – was intense. I think I jumped the gun, opened the floodgates a little too wide. If I could go back, I would take stock of my surroundings and wait another year. Luckily, I was able to move through it without any real trauma.
Ten years ago I was adamant we needed more LGBTQ people in the public eye to be out. Now I think everyone’s lives are on such display that keeping a semblance of privacy is almost more valuable. Most of it is no one’s business.
Social media makes it easy to pass your insecurities on to other people. You might feel good about yourself, but someone else could pay the price. I’m very conscious of that and use it a little, but mostly I keep away.
The United States has an administration that delights in sowing chaos and it’s been tough on everyone. Most of my family are Republicans and some of them think homosexuality is a sin, but I truly don’t care – we love each other very much. Bringing people together and spending quality time with them is more important. That’s what’s going to change minds.
God knows, I still love to party, but it’s changed some. My 30s were wild and I wasn’t necessarily on a great path, then I broke up with a partner and had to run away. I left LA and felt called to New Orleans. I love the culture – and the people are incredible. I didn’t know a soul and had to rebuild my life, but I got to know myself again.
I’ve always written stories and I studied fiction-writing before forming Scissor Sisters, so my next goal is getting the novel out. I can’t imagine doing anything else except performing and writing. I was a charming but terrible waiter.
Wearing a full unicorn costume in the Masked Singer was one of the funnest but hardest things I’ve ever done. It’s like performing completely live with no senses and not being able to breathe. Coming sixth in the competition was devastating – I couldn’t get out of bed the next day.
Jake Shears’s single Meltdown is out now
