"I can’t remember the last time I looked in the mirror and was happy with how I looked, because of the industry and the competitive nature," the 24-year-old daughter of former baseball pro Jose Canseco said on an episode of the podcast Call Her Daddy. "Especially in New York City when all of the girls are so f***ing tiny and they go above and beyond to be that small."
The young woman, who was raised solely by her mother Jessica Canseco and shared that her father wasn't really around, went on to talk about the exclusive nature of the industry especially at the time that she started in it. "You walk into an agency, they put a measuring tape around your waist, your bust and your hips and if you don’t have the right numbers, you’re not getting it, you’re not meeting the directors of it, whatever. It was incredibly, incredibly strict. And that was hard for me because I was an athlete and I was a dancer so I had like more build," she said.
The most difficult part, however, was the comparison to those around her.
"I’m looking at these girls and I’m picking myself to pieces, picking myself apart. Looking at all these other girls and like their thigh gaps and fat on their stomach, they have none. Looking at their stomach, where’d it go?" she said. "What that does to you mentally because you see the girls that get the part and that’s that girl, and you’re like, 'F*** is that what I need to do to book the role?' because you want it so badly. ...there’s always something to tweak and fix."
Canseco explained her emotional response to both the self criticism, and that which comes from the industry, as a "domino effect" that has led her to experience a lot of anxiety. Still, she's admitted to doing a lot of work to better her mental health. "I’m, like, progressively working to getting to a mindset where I’m OK. And I feel beautiful, I’m confident. It’s not like a confidence thing, like I love myself, I love my soul, I love mentally where I’ve gotten and how I’ve gotten to this point of mental strength," she shared.
She also revealed that despite her well-known last name, she didn't grow up with the perks of being a celebrity offspring. "I feel like a lot of the celebrity kids are well-off. They have a safety net, something to fall back onto if they don’t want to bust their ass and work. And that was never the case," she said, sharing that she lived in "model apartments" when she first moved to New York City with a $100 weekly allowance. "I had nothing and everyone was like 'Oh she’s Canseco, why doesn’t she have this and that?' And I’m like, I don’t have it. I don’t have that. But I felt like I had to always make it seem like I was OK.... Put on a straight face and make it work."
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