Kim Noble: ‘I covered an Introduction to Schopenhauer in batter once then ate it’

The funniest standup I’ve ever seen …

I once saw Neil Hamburger and laughed uncontrollably … it was actually embarrassing. I was part of a group that went for dinner with him afterwards and then started sobbing uncontrollably … so it might have just been “an episode” I was going through. I left before the starters.

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The funniest sketch I’ve ever seen …

Disinterested Parents of Missing Child on [Chris Morris’s] Jam.

The funniest book I’ve ever read …

I think I laughed when I read Catch-22.

The funniest TV show I have ever seen …

Brass Eye.

The funniest person I know …

They are all much of a muchness. Apart from Alan … who isn’t funny at all.

The funniest heckle I’ve ever had …

Not really funny but the most industrious: a group of six people bought tickets to see a show of mine. About 30 minutes in, they all stood up together and shouted: “Kim Noble you’re a fucken’ wanker,” in unison, then all marched out. Annoyingly, the audience thought it was staged, which was a shame. They also left just before quite a good bit, which was also a shame.

The funniest item of clothing I’ve ever owned …

I found part of my car’s cup holder inside the lining of my jacket recently. I believe it had been there for months.

The funniest meal I’ve ever eaten …

I covered an Introduction to Schopenhauer book in batter once, deep-fried it and then ate it, but it wasn’t funny. And I retched at each mouthful.

The funniest joke I’ve ever heard …

I don’t know any. I’ve just Googled funny jokes and read a few to my mum. She laughed at this one: “And the Lord said unto John: ‘Come forth and you will receive eternal life,’ but John came fifth and received a toaster.” Bye.

Kim Noble is the creator of the Futile Attempts (at Surviving Tomorrow) podcast, available now