A Love Letter to the World's Best Haircut: The Mushroom

Bianca Rodriguez
·3 min read
Photo credit: Design by Morgan McMullen
Photo credit: Design by Morgan McMullen

From Marie Claire

Ahhh, the 1990s/2000s nostalgia Instagram account. Who doesn't follow one? The little slice of former zeitgeist is a delightful reminder of what once was: A time where Olsen twin fashion was king, and the hardest decision to be made was which shade of dark eyeliner to aggressively going to apply to your water line...or perhaps which Scott brother was your OTP. It's the calm in the midst of the storm that is 2020.

One of my favorites, the ever so fabulous @ bitchbewithyou, posted a recent salute to the Mushroom cut, or, as some know it, the butt cut. (Ew.) As I scrolled through the collection of period heartthrobs—Leo DiCaprio in Romeo + Juliet (1996), Will Friedle in Boy Meets World—I couldn't help but wonder, Why not bring this back?

I know what you're thinking: Bianca. Please. No. My friends expressed the same sentiment when I sent the post to my group chat, pleading for someone else to join #TeamMushroom. Most of them didn't even know what it was, which was 1) rude and 2) a sign they required a history lesson in hair.

The once-omnipresent trend was a style worn by It boys and men of the '90s and early '00s that basically involved parting their longish hair down the middle so the front strands fell forward, creating a curtain effect around the face and giving one's forehead time to shine. It's like a bowl cut...if it was given an Instagram aesthetic.

Greasy hair without a part? Gross. But parted down the middle? Chic. Haven't seen your hairstylists in some time? Not a problem with this look. The point is: It's the perfect hairstyle for a post-COVID world, allowing locks that are overdue for a trim to flow freely. But if you're looking at it now wondering, Why was I in love with a man whose hair resembled produce? That's a great question!

Some psychiatrists have said affection for this 'do goes back to our Disney-watching days, when it seemed like every hero—e.g. John Smith in Pocahontas—sported the elongated style. At the time, it was seen as the perfect balance between masculine and feminine. And because young women everywhere went gaga over these animated dudes, Hollywood producers theorized that those same lovey-dovey feelings would translate to three dimensions. Shocker: They did.

Photo credit: ABC Photo Archives - Getty Images
Photo credit: ABC Photo Archives - Getty Images

Others posit the look was popular because it also showed off the thickness of a man's hair, which suggested he was very much fertile and would be a great partner. This is great to know, but I can 100 percent promise you the last thing I was thinking about at age 7 was whether or not I could have children with Prince Eric from The Little Mermaid. I wanted to be a mermaid, not married with children.

This is why, dear reader, I'm writing to manifest that we bring the mushroom haircut back for a 2020 revival. It's precisely the kind of serotonin boost I, and many fans of the look, need to finish out this year with a bang. Ha, get it? ...Because it has bangs. Anyway, stop what you're doing. Reach out to all your male-identifying friends and tell them to reach for the scissors and get snipping. With how this year went, we need a silver lining, and that just might be in the shape of a mushroom.

And if they still need convincing as to why this is arguably the best haircut ever, take them through the Mushroom Haircut Hall of Fame, where Hollywood heartthrobs of years past don the style with grace (and a little bit of grease.)

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