Breastfeeding is tough and while it’s a special moment between mother and child, most women look forward to the day their child is weaned.
However, that experience can be a bittersweet, and even confusing, one as one mother shared.
Emalitza Holdaway shared an honest peek into what she describes as a “helpless” moment between her and her toddler son Ziggy.
“This is what misery looks like. When breastfeeding no longer offers the comfort it used to, and you don’t know how to take away the pain,” she writes in a post on Facebook.
“Ziggy was in pain. His bum was red, his cheeks were hot. He was crying and crying and crying. I offered him the comfort of my breasts, and, through his tears he shook his head and continued to cry. I looked at AJ. ‘I don’t know what to do.’”
She ended up climbing with Ziggy into the shower, skin against skin and held him close as she cried quietly.
“I’ve always been able to fix Ziggy and last night I couldn’t,” she explains. “From the moment he was born, breastfeeding has been more than just a source of food. It was what he needed when he was upset, in pain, when he was tired. There was nothing boob couldn’t fix.
“As he grew older, we got the inevitable ‘when will you stop?’ and I would always reply ‘when he is ready’ never imagining for a minute that ‘ready’ would be anytime soon. I thought ‘ready’ was months away, years away.”
But then, Holdaway became pregnant again.
As the weeks went by, Ziggy’s need for breastfeeding lessened. By 19 weeks he only did so before naps and it took much longer than it used to.
“I never expected to have such emotions when it happens, but I do. I feel rejected. I feel useless. I used to be his world and now his world is expanding,” she writes.
ALSO SEE: ‘I wish I never breastfed my baby’
Holdaway’s post has since received more than 2,400 likes and almost 400 comments with many echoing her emotions.
“My lo just turned 1 and I am one week into the weaning process. I used to look forward to this in the beginning but now it’s so bittersweet. I know I’m going to really miss it when he is completely weaned,” writes one commenter.
“My boy started showing lack of interest wean I found out I was pregnant he doesn’t nurse at all unless he sees another child or baby nurse and then it’s like he remembers and he will ask me for it,” shares another. “I will probably tandem nurse after baby comes don’t be discouraged. It’s not easy being a mom.”
Holdaway caps off her post by saying, “[My husband] and I used to jokingly ask each other ‘What the hell will we do when he doesn’t boob anymore?’ Well, I guess we better start figuring it out.”
What do you think of Holdaway’s post? Let us know by tweeting us @YahooStyleCA.