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This Mom's Viral Facebook Post Explains Why She Doesn't Teach Her Son to Share

Photo credit: Alanya Kolberg/Facebook
Photo credit: Alanya Kolberg/Facebook

From Redbook

As kids, we're often told that, "Sharing Is Caring." But Missouri mom Alanya Kolberg put up a viral Facebook post last Wednesday that sent a very different message.

In the post, Alanya says that when she took her son, Carson, and his new tansformer, Minecraft figure, and truck to the park recently, he was immediately swamped by six boys demanding that he share his toys.

As her son clutched the toys to his chest, his mom said, "You can tell them no, Carson. Just say no. You don't have to say anything else."

Of course, as soon as she said that, she received some disparaging looks from the other parents. But here was her reasoning:

If I, an adult, walked into the park eating a sandwich, am I required to share my sandwich with strangers in the park? No! Would any well-mannered adult, a stranger, reach out to help themselves to my sandwich, and get huffy if I pulled it away? No again. So really, while you're giving me dirty looks, presumably thinking my son and I are rude, whose manners are lacking here? The person reluctant to give his 3 toys away to 6 strangers, or the 6 strangers demanding to be given something that doesn't belong to them, even when the owner is obviously uncomfortable?

Now, some might say, "It's different!They're kids!" But she made the point that "the goal is to teach our children how to function as adults" and that "we don't live in a world where it's conducive to give up everything you have to anyone just because they said so, and I'm not going to teach my kid that that's the way it works."

Her post went wildly viral, with over 219,000 shares and over 244,000 likes. But not everyone appreciated her anti-sharing sentiment.

"I'm teaching my son to share!! No matter what!!! Yes if I had a sandwich and someone even a stranger wanted it I would give it to them!! These are material items people are arguing over. I'm sorry but nothing material is worth a fight. I will share everything and anything I can. So will my child," one user wrote.

"I can't help but think is article sound as crazy as the author. Children are children adults are adults how the hell did you think a child can comprehend as an adult. You are teaching your child to be selfish stingy and rude. My kids don't like to share with their siblings but I have to explain to them why it's important to do so and how they will feel if the next person treated them the same way," another wrote.

Many people, however, defended Alanya against accusations of selfishness, saying that asking kids to share all of their belongings breeds a culture of entitlement.

"It's also important to realize we are breeding a generation of children with entitlement and narcissistic traits. It's equally important for children understand respecting others space and that sometimes people will tell you no and it's okay," one user wrote.

Whose side are you on?

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