Mom pens heartbreaking post on bullying after son hospitalized with eating disorder
October is National Bullying Prevention Month and unfortunately with the rise of social media, it’s needed more than ever. But it’s not just online bullies parents have to worry about. According to stopabully.ca, one in seven Canadian kids between the ages of 11 and 16 are victims of bullying.
One mom is speaking out after her son was hospitalized for an eating disorder after dealing with bullies at school. An athletic 12-year-old, Deirdre Fell-O’Brien’s son Liam loved riding his bike and watching football with his father until he was hospitalized for depression and an eating disorder. The mom took to Facebook to share her family’s experience with bullying.
“My beautiful son Liam turned 13 years old on September 8. He should be in school with his friends getting excited about high school and playing soccer, but he is not. He is at a medical center in Princeton, New Jersey, being treated for depression and an eating disorder. He has actually been hospitalized for five weeks,” she wrote.
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She describes how her son is missing out on some of his favourite things like playing soccer and eating home-cooked meals. Fell-O’Brien explains she knew something was wrong when her then 12-year-old gave her his iPhone saying there was too much drama. After making his school’s soccer team, the mom said what was a proud moment was quickly overshadowed by Liam’s change in interests, he no longer went out to play with friends and was quick to retreat to his room.
Despite various attempts to find out what was going on, Fell-O’Brien admits her son remained insistent that everything was OK. While soccer remained his one constant, she began to notice a change in his attitude toward the sport.
“He played soccer in the spring with his travel team. Soccer was the one thing that remained consistent. He played every day. He carried a soccer ball everywhere we went… School ended and soccer tryouts came, and Liam made the team we thought he wanted to make. Liam didn’t pick up the soccer ball for the rest of the summer. I was so confused,” wrote the mom.
After her son came home upset that someone had punched him on his way to school, Fell-O’Brien knew something was wrong. Liam spent the summer going to work with his father at the racetrack. It was Fell-O’Brien’s husband who first mentioned their son wasn’t eating like he used to. It was after visiting their family doctor that they discovered Liam had lost 10 lbs. After being admitted to a children’s hospital, Liam plead with his parents to let him leave, promising he’d begin eating again.
Optimistic that returning to school with his friends would make Liam happy, Fell-O’Brien alerted the school to his eating disorder, requesting that he be subtly monitored. Liam returned home from school the first day with a bruise on his face. One week and another five pounds lost later, he admitted to his mother he had been bullied since making the soccer team, with other players claiming he didn’t deserve to be on the team.
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“Two kids told him he sucked and shouldn’t have made the team. There were unnecessary pushes and kicks. He was told he was weird, he was fat, his freckles were weird, his eyebrows were weird. They used horrible language and called him nasty words. I asked him how often it happened. He looked at me crying and said ‘everyday mom’,” wrote Fell-O’Brien.
Liam had stopped playing soccer because it reminded him of the bullies. Fell-O’Brien was upset to discover that her son had been shoved around in the locker room, and the school, which promised to watch out for him, had not been present.
“My husband sent a letter to the principal. We met with the guidance counselor and social worker… I went in to discuss the results of the schools investigation yesterday. The results were unfounded. I was told Liam’s perception may have been different from reality. They just couldn’t find evidence that this happened. I have a picture of a bruise on his face, they said staff said he didn’t exhibit behaviour that would suggest something just happened to him. We are so disappointed,” she wrote.
Liam has since been readmitted to hospital where he was transferred to an intensive facility. He has been fitted with a feeding tube and a heart monitor due to a low heart rate from malnutrition. Fell-O’Brien admits her family is missing Liam and can’t wait until he is back to himself, playing soccer and spending time with his family.
This National Bullying Prevention Month, Fell-O’Brien and her husband are using their experience to correct the situation and share their story so other parents know what to look out for, reminding everyone that anti-bullying goes beyond wearing an orange shirt.
“Parents, watch and listen to your children.”
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