Moms are not having this person's morning coffee rant
Moms love a good Facebook rant.
Enter Sanctimommy — a blog dedicated to showcasing the best of the most aggravating social media rants about parenting and motherhood. With more than 114,000 members on their Facebook page alone, Sanctimommy is the social media hub of pretentious parenting overshares and well, sanctimonious mommies.
A recent post on the group’s Facebook has members fired up over its criticism of the parenting nectar of the gods: Coffee.
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“What is with this…?” the post in question begins. “Drop kids off at school, slopping your coffee (in a take out cup so it didn’t come from home) all over, while you drag the poor child by the hand growling they will be late if they don’t move along… but ya had to stop for that coffee? Really?”
The writer digs in on those partaking in some undoubtedly necessary caffeine by writing, “Yes, you may have just come home from work, yes you were up all night with sick kids, you didn’t sleep well, tons of excuses but let’s be real here, 15 more minutes you could wait…Been there on all fronts… Leave 15 minutes earlier, if it is that critical you must buy coffee.” (Editor’s note: It’s critical).
The holier-than-thou author of the piece has a bone to pick with teachers who dabble in the dark arts of caffeine — blasting them for what the author considers unprofessional.
“In my employment, coffee was available at break time… ONLY!” they write. “What kind of example are we setting for the kids that see adults everyday… adults everywhere with that cup in hand.”
This all seemingly comes down to a hatred for franchised coffee shops and ends with a call to action to put your hard earned coins into some “quality beans” to drink coffee at home.
As expected, mothers of the internet were not happy with their Sanctimommy’s criticism — and it was hilarious.
“Look, I’m a teacher,” one woman wrote. “They’ve taken all sorts of things from us. Pay, benefits, smaller classes, breaks, etc. Don’t you dare try to take my morning coffee from me, Sanctibitch. I may be a teacher, but I will cut you. And I’ll do it with one hand because my coffee cup will be in my other hand.”
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“I have been known to bring coffee for my kid’s teachers,” another wrote. “Am I a dealer?”
One woman summed it up perfectly when she said, “I’m trying to imagine parenting without coffee. It’s a dark, dark, place.”
Carry on, Sanctimommies! Carry on.
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