This Newlywed Said He Already Wants A Divorce, And His Story Is A Wild Ride
Fabiana Buontempo
·6 min read
Getting married is one of the biggest decisions someone has to make. While (hopefully) two people get married and have the best intentions, sometimes, for whatever reason, it doesn't work out, and someone wants to split up.
That's what is going on with this OP (original poster) who shared his story in the r/relationship_advice subreddit. However, he's only been married for less than a year (he and his wife dated for three years prior) and is turning to Reddit to ask if he should ask for a divorce. Here's what he shared:
"We're both quite young, 30M and 32F respectively. We got married less than a year ago after dating for three years. She's wonderful in every other way: kind, beautiful, very stable in her demeanor, doesn't pick fights or talk poorly about anyone, and is a perfect daughter and friend.
But here's the issue: she gets visibly upset with me over small things, prioritizes others over our time together, doesn't take my opinions seriously but suddenly finds them valid when someone else suggests them and frequently cancels our plans to help her unemployed family who live nearby. While I don't usually mind helping them, the frequency is draining. Her parents and her sister are jobless, though her parents are pensioners and her sister is a stay-at-home mom," he explained.
The OP continued by writing, "This dynamic takes a toll on our life aspirations, as I aim for significant career growth while she dreams of building a homestead and living on a farm, which we currently own. She purchased the farmhouse a few months before we met, and while we renovated it together after moving in, I found it difficult to feel comfortable there. Every decision about the house seems influenced by her family's preferences, leaving me unattached to the space."
"Regarding our goals, I'm frustrated by her lack of ambition. While I don't expect us to reach unrealistic heights, I want to aim higher than she does. I enjoy studying and self-improvement, whereas she seems content with the status quo. She supports my dreams but becomes annoyed when I dedicate time to work or study, accusing me of neglecting our relationship. When I try to spend time with her, she often cancels at the last minute for trivial reasons, such as grocery shopping with her family, leaving me feeling unappreciated and exhausted," he added.
Lastly, the OP wrote, "Intimacy in our relationship is nonexistent, lacking even basic affection like hand-holding or cuddling. This rejection has greatly impacted my self-esteem, as I believe I am fairly attractive. I'm left wondering why I married her in the first place, as I feel trapped in a situation where divorce seems inevitable but financially complicated. Feeling so frustrated, any advice appreciated."
Sheesh! When I first read this OP's story, I wondered why the couple couldn't seek couple counseling or how he did not see these issues sooner with his wife. A lot of the responses in the thread were thinking the same, so the OP clarified a few things (which I summarized):
The Reddit community didn't hold back and expressed their strong opinions on this OP's story. Here's what one commenter wrote.
Another person suggested the OP cut right to it with his wife.
This person felt that the relationship isn't worth saving.
And this commenter gave some brutally honest advice.
"I hate my son's constant attitude, back talk, disrespect, and just plain disregard for anyone who tries to tell him anything. I thought it was only an issue at home, but it turns out he's like that at school, and he's only 8."
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