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Is it ok to stop people kissing your newborn baby?

Parents are divided about whether or not it’s ok to stop people kissing your baby [Photo: Getty]
Parents are divided about whether or not it’s ok to stop people kissing your baby [Photo: Getty]

A mum has sparked a parenting debate online about whether it is ok to ask people NOT to kiss your newborn baby.

Taking to the parenting site Mumsnet, the mum explained that her baby was born prematurely and was quite ill following her birth.

“She is now seven weeks old and doing well but I’m understandably quite protective of her,” the mum explained.

She went on to say that her in-laws visit a few times a week and though the mum is happy for them to cuddle the baby, she has asked that they don’t kiss her because they are both prone to cold sores.

But the rule hasn’t gone down well with her baby’s grandparents.

“Last weekend my MIL was very upset and rude to me about the kissing issue, even going as far as to say ‘I may as well be holding the baby down the road if I can’t kiss her’ whilst sobbing uncontrollably and telling me she was embarrassed at me telling others this rule,” she explained.

“I then felt railroaded until saying ok maybe just kiss her on the head then and the hands. This still makes me feel so uncomfortable but I also don’t want to cause a family rift,” she continued.

The mum went on to write that her husband hasn’t been supportive of her viewpoint as he agrees with his mother that it is good for her in terms of bonding.

The original poster goes on to ask for advice from other parents on how to handle the subject and users were quick to step in and offer their own opinions on the tricky topic.

Many parents agreed with the mum that asking people not to kiss their newborn was a perfectly reasonable request.

“I hated people kissing my newborn and he wasn’t even premature,” one parent wrote.

“Especially people prone to cold sores. There was a horrible story a while ago where a baby died from the cold sore virus. Sod your mil and her bonding. Your baby’s health is more important than her wishes, and as the mum you get to decide what is and isn’t ok.”

“I had this rule and I felt so strongly about it that I would have fallen out with my entire family if they challenged me,” another parent offered.

“Stand your ground. The only people your child needs to bond with right now is you and your DH. GM can bond when the baby is older.”

“Nobody has any right to kiss your baby and your DH needs to start backing you up,” another mum agreed.

“And tell your MIL and SIL that cold sores can potentially be fatal to newborns, they should both have more sense. You could always tell her that your HV has advised you this as your DD was prem. MIL can still bond with her grandchild without the need to kiss her, especially since you have pointedly asked her not to.”

Should you stop grandparents kissing your newborn? [Photo: Getty]
Should you stop grandparents kissing your newborn? [Photo: Getty]

Other parents, however, thought that the original poster was taking the ‘no kissing’ rule too far.

“Honestly? I think this is one of those things that in a few years time you will look back at and cringe,” one user wrote. “Let them kiss the baby.”

“Your baby is out of danger now. Moderate hugs and kisses from family are good for her immune system. Come on you know you are being very unreasonable,” another user added.

“The baby’s dad is also allowed an opinion,” another poster wrote. “My husband suffers from cold sores. Was he never ever to kiss his children?”

The NHS explains that neonatal herpes is a herpes infection in a newborn baby.

It’s caused by the herpes simplex virus, a highly contagious virus that can cause cold sores and genital ulcers in adults.

“Herpes can be very serious for a young baby, whose immune system won’t have fully developed to fight off the virus,” the site warns.

Though there are several ways that babies can contract herpes the site goes on to point out that a kiss from someone who has a cold sore is one way the infection can be passed on.

In some cases neonatal herpes will only affect the baby’s eyes, mouth or skin. “In these cases, most babies will make a complete recovery with antiviral treatment,” the site explains

But in other cases it can have some pretty devastated consequences.

“The condition is much more serious if it’s spread to the baby’s organs,” the site continues. “Nearly a third of infants with this type of neonatal herpes will die, even after they’ve been treated.”

The tragic tale of baby Mariana Sifrit is a stark reminder of just how serious herpes can be for babies.

Little Mariana was just 18 days old after she developed a deadly virus that doctors believe could have been contracted from a simple kiss.

The subject of kissing babies and children is controversial for reasons other than infection too.

Back in 2016 Victoria Beckham sparked a parenting debate after sharing a picture of her kissing her daughter Harper on the lips.

Though the picture received 568K likes with many labelling the snap as adorable, others claimed the image was ‘inappropriate’, ‘disgusting’ and ‘horrible’. Some went so far as to call the fashion designer and her daughter ‘lesbians.’

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