Blended families can be tricky, especially when there’s bad blood between exes and growing kids involved. Pair that with key behavioural differences and there’s bound to be friction.
That’s the scenario one woman is facing. Anonymously posting to Mumsnet, she stirred hot debate on one particular issue: co-sleeping.
“Am I being unreasonable to think that it’s creepy that my other half’s son still sleeps with his mother at 9 years old?” she asks.
The woman adds that she’s yet to develop a functional relationship with her partner’s ex and feels the need to “vacate her home” when her stepson and his mom are in town.
It all sounds terribly complicated — that can be agreed. But the question of co-sleeping is what has this poster’s audience divided.
“Mother and son do not regularly visit at all — this is one of the first times. I think everything should be done in his son’s best interests, however as an ‘outsider’ I think the sleeping with his mother will definitely cause issues,” she commented.
While she may hold strong opinions, some say she has a point.
“You’re not being unreasonable, it sounds like a really odd set-up,” one person wrote.
But others can’t believe she would take issue with co-sleeping.
“Of course it’s not ‘creepy,’ WTAF?” one reader wrote.
Another wrote: “Not creepy, no. But you finding it creepy is kind of creep in my opinion.”
The woman was even slammed for “sexualizing” co-sleeping.
“It seems like you’re sexualizing the bed-sharing. Sorry, but you’re the creepy one,” wrote another.
But the woman defended herself by saying “I’m quite surprised at how many people think it is normal for a boy of that age to sleep in the same bed as any parent, mother or father.”
“For those of you that think this is normal / not creepy (or that I am the creepy one!), can I ask how you would feel if it were the other [way] around — how would you feel if, by some means, your ex would not allow your child to stay over at your home unless the ex himself was there too, and the ex himself slept in bed with, say, your 9-year-old daughter?”
But people weren’t buying it, some stating that co-sleeping was the least of her issues.
“Thanks for all the comments,” she responded. “It is definitely helpful to understand from others that it isn’t creepy for them to sleep together — I don’t know this, as my experience is that children always sleep separately from birth.”
“For all the crazies saying I am bitter and interfering, I have not said anywhere that I resent [his] relationship with his son — he has fought hard to have any access whatsoever, despite being legally entitled to 50 per cent custody. He cannot move country to be closer because of work. I have zero issue with his son staying in his house, obviously!”
What’s your opinion on co-sleeping?