Open letter: Confessions of a working (PR) mom
Photo via Stella/Getty Images
By: Mel Carrey
Almost a year ago, I was working an event and this woman who looked about my age looked at me and exclaimed, “How do you work in PR and have kids?!”
Then, another woman of the same age who had overheard prompted me, wondering if it was possible to have this career and kids too. She was genuinely, deeply intrigued and concerned for her own future. She really wanted to know if it was possible.
Let’s take a look back before fully diving into these inquiries.
At age 20, I entered the field of public relations for all the stereotypical reason our professors shot down: I wanted to be known for throwing the best parties, knowing the coolest people and working the hottest fashion shows. I quickly immersed into the music and film scenes, hitting the clubs nightly with my new boyfriend. We took pictures with celebrities (of course making sure they remembered my name). It was a fast-paced life, a sleepless life, a party life, and a super entertaining life.
When I got pregnant 24 months into our relationship, we knew we’d be the best damn parents. The most loving, the most nurturing, the most fun.
After my daughter was born I left the television show I had been working on to pursue some work-from-home opportunities. The self-employed era was really picking up and I didn’t have maternity leave, so I was perfectly content to make some side cash. I started working hockey events, fashion shows, music events and festivals. Each were done on my own time and I made it work, with my baby by my side.
But when contract life wasn’t paying the bills, I started looking for typical PR agency roles – something I had never done before. I had no previous interest in working within an agency or corporate PR environment. However, now that I was a mom, I had to pay the bills.
The first agency that hired me came fresh out of two years of working at home. They were impressed with my background in events and my education – it overshadowed my lack of actual office life. I was part of a team of great young women, job-focused with boyfriends, dogs and their own stories…but none had the same responsibility of a child at home.
As my first job away from my daughter, it clouded my thought process and left me very unhappy. The hours weren’t working, it was too far from home to make it back on time to pick her up from daycare. These were real life problems. I used to work around the clock when I worked in TV. Management tried to reason with my needs but the truth was: this is PR and you have to put in those extra hours to make the client happy and to ensure that events run smoothly. There’s always last minute hiccups, changes, additions, stresses – like many jobs, you need to be 100 per cent all in, for each and every challenge. You also need to be flexible.
I was eventually laid off. I can admit now that I had a lot of growing up to do back then. I then went back to the work-from-home contracts again which lasted a couple of months. I flirted with a few agency contracts, but nothing full time.
I kept getting attracted to small agencies where all the work is left to a team of three people or so, and that tiny group makes shit happen! Soon I became at the mercy of a boss, like most of society, being told what to do, when to do it and how to do it. I realized something: I’ve been doing things my way for a while and although it’s slightly more unconventional, perhaps I have something to offer? Perhaps I’m boss-of-myself material?
By summer 2015 I was speaking with startups and a community hub, which housed a whole lot of them (startups). My daughter entered kindergarten and I entered the real world of grinders and around the clock hours. It was thrilling, it was new, it was in tech, and it was very, very, very low paying.
I started to think about the situation again. I knew I wanted to help others yet stay in control of my own hours. I knew this. My child was four now, and I wanted to have another. I was at the liberty of seeing her more because I could balance my low-paying job with attending to her. It was the best time of my PR mom life, however, it wasn’t going to keep us afloat financially.
So, I made the decision to apply to yet another PR agency, again a small one. It was the fasted turnaround: I was hired right away and put into a senior role. On the first day of work I kissed my daughter goodbye and knew this change was going to give us more dough to play with and we would be happier.
After almost a full year of working my own hours, I was thrown into agency life of a small team, underpaid and overworked. I was quickly thrown of my high horse, struggling to reason with management. Don’t get me wrong: I was enjoying and succeeding in the work, clients were happy and I had built some solid bonds.
I also wanted to stand up and defend what a “proper work culture” is today.
I had a taste of this new wave of startups and tech entrepreneurs, which had trickled thoughts in to my own mind. I think it’s about considering the mental health of employees and recognizing that you get more out of a team that is taken care on various levels. I know this may sound idealist, and I’m perfectly aware that when joining the field of PR it’s known you typically don’t get credit where credit is due. The image that the thank you’s go to the higher ups, the company president, not the account managers. I get this, I get this.
Listen, I’m not calling out PR agencies big or small, I know there are amazing places to work out there. This letter is more to encourage your that are reading, whether you’re a working mom or a single male, to do your research. Don’t settle until you have found your true work family. We’re talking about your life here.
Today I have a boss I report to and a team I work compatibly with. I’m not running the show on my own, but Im running with my pack that I found after years of ups and downs. I’m not the only mother anymore, I’m one of many. My voice is heard, my opinion is considered, and my work gets done. I’m happier than I’eve ever been and thanks to this happiness and amazing find, I’m blessed to be able to embark on my first official mat leave to have baby no. 2. Funny thing: I’m terrified to leave work. I live to work and I work to live. If you’re reading this don’t stop searching until you can proudly admit those words.
Live to work and work to live.
Let us know what you think by tweeting @YahooStyleCA.