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Quotes of the Week: Chicago Fire, After Midnight, Wild Cards, Emmys and More

Quotes of the Week: Chicago Fire, After Midnight, Wild Cards, Emmys and More
Quotes of the Week: Chicago Fire, After Midnight, Wild Cards, Emmys and More

The Primetime Emmy Awards have, sadly, come and gone — but we’ve memorialized TV’s biggest night in our latest Quotes of the Week compilation.

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In the list below, we’ve gathered a dozen of TV’s most memorable sound bites from the past seven days, including moments both scripted and unscripted from broadcast and cable series.

This time around, we’ve got bon mots and zingers from Extended Family, After Midnight, Wild Cards and La Brea, plus a conversation from The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City that could only ever happen on that particular show.

Also featured in this week’s roundup: a double dose of the Emmys’ red carpet pre-show, plus quotable moments from General Hospital, Chicago Fire and NCIS: Sydney.

Scroll through the list below to see all of our picks for the week, then hit the comments and tell us if we missed any of your faves! (With contributions from Ryan Schwartz, Charlie Mason, Vlada Gelman, Andy Swift and Matt Webb Mitovich)

E! LIVE FROM THE RED CARPET

E! LIVE FROM THE RED CARPET
E! LIVE FROM THE RED CARPET

“I feel like I am on the Titanic, ready to go to the ball, minutes away from death. But I don’t care because I’m fabulous.”

Abbott Elementary‘s Janelle James is on Cloud 9, decked out in Fred Leighton jewels, at the 75th Emmys

E! LIVE FROM THE RED CARPET (Bonus Quote!)

E! LIVE FROM THE RED CARPET (Bonus Quote!)
E! LIVE FROM THE RED CARPET (Bonus Quote!)

“[Young Ayo Edebiri] didn’t dream of nights like this. She sort of dreamed of just, like, dental insurance. So, I would say, ‘We got dental, we got eye, we got ear, we can go to the dermatologist.’”

Sure, the Bear star is thrilled to be at the Emmys… but she’s even more excited about the practical perks of TV stardom

CHICAGO FIRE

CHICAGO FIRE
CHICAGO FIRE

“You guys don’t know? I already made two new best friends in Detroit: Riolet and Vitter.”

Gallo (Alberto Rosende) says goodbye to his besties, Violet and Ritter

GENERAL HOSPITAL

GENERAL HOSPITAL
GENERAL HOSPITAL

“I guess you have a lot to discuss. So, Ned, why don’t you join me in the kitchen? I’m suddenly famished.”

“Yes, treachery always improves one’s appetite.”

Tracy (Jane Elliot) excuses herself and Ned (Wally Kurth) so that Carly, Drew and Michael can hash out the latest backstab

NCIS: SYDNEY

NCIS: SYDNEY
NCIS: SYDNEY

“It’s a bunch of tech bros patting each other on the back. Just pretentious navel-gazing, so…”

“Well, we are naval investigators.”

“Touché.”

Blue (Mavournee Hazel) wishes she could join the rest of the team at an exclusive tech titan soiree

THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF SALT LAKE CITY

THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF SALT LAKE CITY
THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF SALT LAKE CITY

“She called Meredith a trampoline with eyes! Are you kidding me?”

“That means her skin is nice and smooth and tight.”

“…I want to be a trampoline with eyes.”

“That’s honestly what I want to be, too.”

Only on The Real Housewives can an obvious insult be magically spun into a compliment, then somehow turn into the hottest new trend within a matter of seconds

EXTENDED FAMILY

EXTENDED FAMILY
EXTENDED FAMILY

“Jimmy’s school gave the kids a career aptitude test, and it said he should be an evangelist.”

“Jesus!”

“Exactly.”

Jim (Jon Cryer) takes Julia’s (Abigail Spencer) reaction a bit too literally

WILD CARDS

WILD CARDS
WILD CARDS

“Damn, that was amazing. We’re like Bones and that dude from Buffy, or Castle and that hot girl, or A Star Is Born — except you’re Lady Gaga and I’m Bradley Cooper.”

Just saying, if Max (Vanessa Morgan) was a real person, she would totally get her TV news from TVLine

75TH PRIMETIME EMMY AWARDS

75TH PRIMETIME EMMY AWARDS
75TH PRIMETIME EMMY AWARDS

“My wife loves your show.”

Paul Walter Hauser passes along a message to the cast of Grey’s Anatomy before acknowledging his win for Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Limited Series or Movie

75TH PRIMETIME EMMY AWARDS (Bonus Quote!)

75TH PRIMETIME EMMY AWARDS (Bonus Quote!)
75TH PRIMETIME EMMY AWARDS (Bonus Quote!)

“Celebrating the best in musicals that were based on movies which will probably be movies again…”

“There’s nothing wrong with that.”

Amy Poehler takes a (friendly) crack at Tina Fey’s Mean Girls remake while announcing Variety Special nominee The 75th Annual Tony Awards

LA BREA

LA BREA
LA BREA

“Judah, work faster! We need to be done with this spiral before the egg gets here!”

“Motherhood has made you mean.”

“Oh, yeah? If you don’t keep working, I can get a lot meaner.”

Veronica (Lily Santiago) eggs on slowpoke Judah (Damien Fotiou)

AFTER MIDNIGHT

AFTER MIDNIGHT
AFTER MIDNIGHT

“Panelists, what award would After Midnight win at the Emmys?”

“Best Female Late-Night Host. Oh, I’m sorry… Only Female Late-Night Host.”

Kurt Braunohler buzzes in with the sad truth

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