Reframe how we talk about miscarriage
The Duchess of Sussex deserves every sympathy for revealing her experience of miscarriage, but I remain doubtful that her expressed desire to “normalise conversations around miscarriage” will be easily achieved, given the apparent and continuing “pervasive taboos” around the subject, described by Zeynep Gurtin (Miscarriage is still taboo – which is why Meghan’s words are so powerful, 26 November).
Meghan’s advice to approach anyone suffering grief or loss, rather than ignoring them, and to open an opportunity for them to speak about their experience, is spot-on. But the “three little words” that she advises, “Are you OK?” (Meghan, Duchess of Sussex, reveals she had a miscarriage, 25 November), play into our reluctance to open up about feelings, provoking the response, “Yes, I’m fine”. Reframing those three words into the more open “How are you?” may give a grieving person the sense that you really do want to know, and the confidence to reply honestly.
Jean Simons
Lewisham, London
