• ‘Game of Thrones’ Season 8 Death Watch: Who Died and How Bloody Was It?
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    The Wrap

    ‘Game of Thrones’ Season 8 Death Watch: Who Died and How Bloody Was It?

    (Warning: This post contains spoilers for the series finale of “Game of Thrones,” titled “The Iron Throne.”)One week after “Game of Thrones” fans endured the bloodshed during “The Last War” between the two queens fighting for the Iron Throne — Cersei Lannister and Daenerys Targaryen — the series finale offered up even more in the way of big deaths.The 1-hour, 20-minute final episode of the HBO series’ eighth and final season claimed the life of Daenerys in a very poetic way, just before she sat on the Iron Throne.In case you forgot the lives that were lost over the show’s final six-episode run, see below for our list of every “Game of Thrones” character who died on Season 8.Also Read: 'Game of Thrones' Series Finale: 10 Biggest Questions Answered and 5 We Have LeftNed Umber How they died: Poor little Ned Umber. This guy was the first notable death of the final season and technically died twice because he was a) turned into a wight by the Night King and left at the center of a ritualistic arrangement of body parts inside the Umbers’ ancestral home, The Last Hearth, and b) killed by Beric and his trusty fire sword once the Eastwatch-Castle Black team found the boy’s reanimated corpse. The son of the late Smalljon Umber and grandson of the late Greatjon Umber, Ned is the tyke who Jon Snow entrusted with the Umbers’ property, after the Northern clan betrayed the Starks and Jon fought for Ramsay Bolton at the Battle of the Bastards. Jon was willing to forgive the family and not hold Ned accountable for their actions, letting him retain control of his home when he agreed to bend the knee.See below for how Ned died (the second time):Also Read: 'Game of Thrones' Series Finale Preview: Prepare for More Blood (Video)Random men who were guarding Yara on Euron Greyjoy’s ship (played by Rob McElhenney and Martin Starr) How they died: Arrows to the head, courtesy of Theon and his crew, who came to rescue Yara in the Season 8 premiere. Honestly, they were very, very minor deaths we only care about ’cause these were just awesome cameos.HBODolorous Edd How they died: The first major casualty of the Battle of Winterfell, Edd was killed by a wight while protecting Sam.Lady Lyanna Mormont How they died: Squeezed to death by a giant wight, though it was a sacrifice play — the badass little lady managed to stab him through the eye with some dragonglass and took him out with her.A bunch of Dothraki How they died: As the frontline of Daenerys and Jon Snow’s forces at the Battle of Winterfell, the Dothraki went storming into the dark night with fiery blades — and didn’t come back. The horde was killed by the wights who came ripping through them to attack the other living troops. This might actually be the end of the Dothraki nation, if the post-episode featurette is telling us the truth.Theon Greyjoy How they died: Stabbed by the Night King, he gave his life to try and protect Bran Stark in the Godswood during the Battle of Winterfell.The Night King How they died: Arya stabbed him with the late Littlefinger’s Valyrian steel blade in the closing moments of Episode 803, taking out him and his entire army of White Walkers and wights in the process (including the undead Viserion!). Yes, Arya killed the Night King and ended the Battle of Winterfell.Also Read: Did Emilia Clarke 'Stumble Upon the Truth' Behind 'Game of Thrones' Coffee Cup Mistake? (Photo)Jorah Mormont How they died: Jorah died by his Khaleesi’s side, succumbing to the injuries he sustained protecting her during the Battle of Winterfell.Beric Dondarrion How they died: Died after being mauled by wights in the halls of Winterfell during the great battle, but not before he managed to successfully protect Arya so she could fulfill her destiny (see above) even if he cannot be brought back by the Lord of Light this time.Melisandre How they died: After returning to Westeros to help everyone survive the Battle of Winterfell, Melisandre took off her necklace and wandered into the dawn to die as her true, much-older self.Missandei How they died: Beheaded by The Mountain after being kidnapped by Euron Greyjoy, at Cersei Lannister’s request. She was executed because Daenerys would not surrender to Cersei.HBORhaegal How they died: Shot with multiple arrows by Euron Greyjoy in an ambush at Dragonstone.Varys How they died: Executed for treason by Daenerys (via Drogon) after she discovered he supported Jon Snow/Aegon Targaryen’s claim to the throne over hers.Marc Rissmann as Harry Strickland – Photo: Courtesy of HBOMost of the Golden Company  How they died: Many were killed by Daenerys Targareyn via Drogon’s fiery breath when she laid siege to King’s Landing and others were killed by her army on the ground.Qyburn How they died: Ser Gregor Clegane a.k.a. The Mountain smashed his head into a wall in the Red Keep after Qyburn demanded Gregor escort his queen, Cersei, to safety instead of fight his brother, Sandor Clegane a.k.a. The Hound, to the death.Sandor Clegane a.k.a. “The Hound” How they died: Pushed his brother, The Mountain, over the Red Keep wall during their fight to the death (Cleganebowl!) and went tumbling down with him.HBOGregor Clegane a.k.a. The Mountain How they died: Pushed over the wall of the Red Keep by his brother, Sander Clegane a.k.a. “The Hound,” though they both fell to their death.Jaime Lannister How they died: Crushed by the rubble of the collapsing Red Keep while down in the dungeons, trying to escape with Cersei during the battle in King’s Landing.Cersei Lannister How they died: Crushed by the rubble of the collapsing Red Keep while down in the dungeons, trying to escape with Jaime.Euron Grejoy How they died: Stabbed in the chest by Jaime Lannister when the two were brawling over Cersei during the war in King’s Landing. We didn’t see Euron die on screen, but we’re very confident he did not survive that mortal wound.A Bunch of Lannister Soldiers How they died: These poor bastards were summarily executed — personally — by Grey Worm after they had the misfortune of surrendering at the start of the series finale, right after Dany destroyed the living hell out of Kings Landing.Daenerys Targaryen How they died: Stabbed by Jon Snow on the series finale, after she burned thousands in King’s Landing so she could take the Iron Throne. Then she was carried off by Drogon.Read original story ‘Game of Thrones’ Season 8 Death Watch: Who Died and How Bloody Was It? At TheWrap

  • Five ways to care for your scalp
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    The Guardian

    Five ways to care for your scalp

    Cleansing your scalp properly is important. Photograph: Shioguchi/Getty Images Cleanse properly “The scalp is simply skin: it sweats, secretes sebum (oil) and sheds dead skin cells,” says Anabel Kingsley, a trichologist at Philip Kingsley. Eleanore Richardson, a trichologist at the Fulham Scalp and Hair Clinic in London, says shampoo is the first step to keeping the scalp healthy. She suggests shampooing more often if you use lots of hair products or have been sweating. Kingsley says: “Don’t leave more than three days between shampoos. Doing so is likely to cause itching and flaking, and a flaky scalp can cause hair loss.” Tackle dandruff “If you notice your scalp is flaky, your first solution is to use a dandruff shampoo,” says David Felstead of the Hair and Scalp Clinic at Daniel Galvin Marylebone in London. He recommends looking for one that contains salicylic acid or zinc pyrithione, and says you should use it for at least a month. He advises shampooing twice, leaving the product in for two to three minutes the first time before rinsing. If using a specific shampoo doesn’t work, he recommends seeking expert advice. Protect your scalp from the sun “Scalps can easily get burnt in bright sunlight, especially if the hair is thinning or very fine,” says Dr Anjali Mahto, a consultant dermatologist at the Cadogan Clinic and author of The Skincare Bible. For those with thinning hair, it is advisable to apply sunscreen or wear a hat. Go easy with the styling “Tight styling, such as cornrows and single braids, while often claimed to be ‘protective’ and low maintenance, can cause severe hair breakage,” says Richardson. These styles are often left in for weeks at a time, which contributes to poor scalp health.” The constant tension on the hair follicles can even trigger alopecia. Choose the right brush Both Kingsley and Felstead warn against using brushes with metal prongs or bristles. A natural bristle brush or one with flexible, plastic prongs is far gentler on the scalp. Essentially, if the brush feels rough or uncomfortable on your scalp, it is no good, says Felstead. For those who need to take extra care, there are options such as the silicone Manta hairbrush, designed by the hairdresser Tim Binnington. Created for his wife when her hair was recovering after a life-threatening illness, it is designed to be as gentle on the hair as brushing it with your fingers, reducing tension on strands and skin.

  • The no-sex guide to intimacy
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    The Guardian

    The no-sex guide to intimacy

    Touch has a range of benefits, including stimulating the immune system and reducing stress Photograph: Getty ImagesIf you think you can only experience intimacy through sex, you’re missing out. Eyes locking across a table, a reassuring squeeze from your partner, a deep and meaningful conversation with a friend – many of us have daily intimate moments that never get near a bedroom, which is good news for the single, the sex-starved and those of us who just don’t fancy it. Here’s how to increase the intimacy in your life. Think about what intimacy means to you“Some people would say to be truly intimate with another means being sexual with them, but that’s a very narrow way of looking at things,” says Ammanda Major, head of service quality and clinical practice at Relate. “Being intimate with someone is understanding them, caring about them, wanting to be there for them. For some people, just having a daily conversation would mean there is some level of intimacy.”Kate Moyle, a sex therapist, describes intimacy as “that sense of being prioritised, special, cherished”. It is not necessarily dependent on being in a long-term relationship: “You can have an instant, deep connection with someone. It’s about vulnerability, that complete ability to be yourself, warts and all, and for that person to accept you.”Once you define it for yourself, you may find it is more present in your life than you first thought. Don’t forget to get physical“How often do you touch your partner, or do you only touch them when you want to have sex?” asks Major. “How close do you get when you’re talking? Do you do it from the other side of the room? Do you eat together? Eating is a very connecting thing, but do you both sit in front of the telly or on your phones? It’s about trying to find a bit of time when it’s just you and your partner. Those are the things that help you feel connected, and start to build emotional intimacy.”As a society, non-sexual touch has decreased alongside a decline in sexual activity. Partly this is political – the fear of being accused of sexual harassment or assault may well be behind a decline in touch between colleagues. But we are also distracted. Tiffany Field, a University of Miami School of Medicine professor and director of the Touch Research Institute, is doing a study in airport waiting areas. “There’s no intimate touch among families, and not even verbal connections,” she says. “Everyone’s on their cellphones and they are not talking.”We know that touch has a range of positive benefits, including stimulating the immune system and reducing stress. Even if we don’t have a partner, having more physical intimacy in our lives can be achieved with a little effort.Field points to the number of “cuddling” groups and workshops that have cropped up as one way to make a physical connection. “But I would prefer a massage over that. Massaging others, like family members, is therapeutic – the massager gets the same stress relief benefits as the person being massaged, most likely from the stimulation of pressure receptors under the skin.” And don’t underestimate self-touch, she says. “Research has shown that self-massage is very therapeutic. Brush yourself in the shower, or use a tennis ball to rub your limbs anywhere they hurt.” Swap cuddling for ‘simmering’Even if you don’t have time to have sex, says the therapist Stephen Snyder, author of Love Worth Making: How to Have Ridiculously Great Sex in a Long-Lasting Relationship, “you still have time to sample the most important part of the sex response cycle – arousal. Arousal is a mental phenomenon, not just physical, and it means being in the moment and getting a little absorbed in your experience of your partner.”It may only take a minute or two, he says. “Inhale the scent of your partner’s hair, reach inside your partner’s clothes. It warms up the erotic climate in a relationship. The key thing is to recognise that arousal is not a painful state – it doesn’t have to be relieved immediately by having an orgasm.”He describes these quick snatches of sexualised physical contact as “simmering” and says Brits seem especially interested in the idea. “I think people in the UK are doing too much cuddling, and suffering as a consequence,” he says. According to Snyder, cuddling can help create a secure bond but it can also “deplete erotic energy. I would say if you’re going to do some physical contact with your partner, put some sexual current into it.” Cuddling, he says, is “warm, but it’s not hot”.

  • The baby boy’s speech has exploded. But what exactly is he saying?
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    The baby boy’s speech has exploded. But what exactly is he saying?

    Baby talk: when he’s finished he’ll say bawbboye. Photograph: Getty Images After 10 months of patient silence, this week saw an explosion in my son’s vocabulary, as his wayward mash of vowels and consonants gave way to a torrent of altogether more defined syllables. This will come as no surprise to anyone familiar with his earlier work. Few who heard his first releases, babababababa or plpplpplpplpplpplp could doubt he was one to watch, and his dadadada earned golden opinions from those who heard within it the freshness of German new wave troubadours Trio, only with the arch and knowing delivery of a young Alan Bennett. Since he was slow to crawl, and still has no teeth, we’ve taken the fact that he’s babbling a little earlier than his playmates as a sign that he is destined for a life of the mind. ‘What use is a full head of teeth anyway?’ we ask ourselves. Let lesser children pursue a career in competitive eating, a life of Crunchie bars. By the time he’s six our son may still be toothless, but he’ll also be doing speaking tours for his second biography of Lord Liverpool, and presenting one of those moderately dumbed down history programmes on BBC2 – the kind that only get made if the presenter agrees to do at least one or two interstitial segments dressed in period costume. There’s always the risk that parents, doe-eyed with love, will see and hear things that aren’t there. So, it’s a real relief to know that this is definitely not happening in our case, especially since we see it so much among other parents and, frankly, it’s embarrassing. No, it’s good that as we scan every single burble and blab, and only analyse these malformed phonemes out of a sense of honest inquiry, not some sort of maddening desperation to imbue them with a nonexistent gravitas. It’s a marvel that, the better he gets at speaking, the better my wife and I become at understanding his every word What’s arguably most impressive about my son’s new faculty with language is how infectious it is. It’s a marvel that, the better he gets at speaking, the better my wife and I become at understanding his every word. About four days ago, he said bawbboye which a lesser mortal might have thought errant gibberish, or perhaps an injunction that we fetch for him a match day ballboy. It was only a little later that we realised he was likely recreating my wife’s ‘bye bye’ in that earthy Dublin twang that grips her tongue. The fact that he’s never made this sound again, despite roughly 700 inducements to do so, is likely because he’s ‘been there, done that’, rather than evidence that it was a random occurrence. No, my son is above the petty catchphrase and he makes his every utterance count. He must be so proud of his new level of speech and I intend to ask him what he thinks about it all. It will, no doubt, be hard for him to put such feelings into words, but I’m sure he’ll manage it somehow. Follow Séamas on Twitter @shockproofbeats

  • Why a bad mistake at work can be good news
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    The Guardian

    Why a bad mistake at work can be good news

    Help is at hand: looking failure in the face and embracing your mistakes can effect positive change. Photograph: sorbetto/GettyIt’s a moment in his 14-year career as a headteacher that Simon Kidwell will never forget. “The husband of a member of my staff was rushed to hospital – and she came in the next day, after being up most of night, panicking because she hadn’t done the marking for her class.” At the time, he expected all the teachers at his Cheshire primary school to mark their pupils’ work daily and give each child detailed feedback – a lengthy process which typically took around 2.5 hours a day, but had been praised by Ofsted.The teacher’s panic made him realise he had made a mistake. “It was a wake-up call for me. I had a teacher more worried about her workload than her husband being in hospital.” Kidwell decided to reduce the marking workload of his teachers, cutting their working hours by around seven hours a week on average. “Staff retention rates are now very, very strong and our teachers have a healthier work-life balance.”At the school’s most recent Ofsted inspection, the new marking system was praised and the school was rated “good”. Kidwell now lives by the philosophy that it’s also good to make mistakes. “That’s something we try to model to the children as well. Because mistakes help you to learn.”They can also, of course, be very embarrassing and, often, distressing. Last week, a member of staff at Hawksmoor Manchester accidentally served diners a £4,500 bottle of wine, and pupils at a £37,000-a-year boarding school discovered they had been taught the wrong GCSE English text – Spies, by Michael Frayn – for two years. It may be some time before their teacher and the waiter who mistook a bottle of 2001 Chateau Le Pin Pomerol for a £260 Bordeaux feel able to embrace Kidwell’s positive philosophy.A huge blunder can be a life-changing experience. (Posed by a model.) Photograph: PeopleImages/GettyBut the sooner they stop licking their wounds and do so, the quicker they will recover, says Cary Cooper, professor of organisational psychology at the University of Manchester. “We know that resilient personalities are people who are more adaptable if they do something wrong. Their attitude is: what do I have to learn, so I don’t make that mistake again?”Another resilient response is to publicly attempt to “own” the mistake and accept that you must try to compensate for it in some way. “A big mistake can be a life-changing experience in the sense that it so devastates you, you can’t just carry on doing what you were doing before. You can’t return to your previous life,” says Cooper. Rather than allow a screw-up to permanently affect their self-confidence and self-esteem, resilient people will often reposition their mistake in their own minds as the impetus for positive change, he says. “They’ll decide: I’m going to make that mistake part of who I am. To own a mistake in that way – in the way you live your life – is really profound.”Lee Willows, 46, is chief executive of the Young Gamers & Gamblers Education Trust. He founded the charity nearly five years ago, after being convicted of stealing £19,000 from his employer to fund his secret gambling addiction. Before he confessed to his crime, he says, he was full of self-loathing. “I hated what I’d done, the person I became. The only way out I could see was to kill myself.”> Don’t be in denial about your mistakes. The faster you fess up, the faster you'll recover> > Jonathan AitkenFollowing counselling and treatment at a gambling addiction clinic, he began to feel more resilient. Setting up the charity to help others avoid making some of his mistakes has given him a new purpose in life. “I was a truthful person before I became a gambler. Now, I’ve re-established my moral compass.”The process of rebuilding after a mistake requires support, ideally from a wise mentor or companion, says Jonathan Aitken. The former cabinet minister spent seven months in prison in 1999 for perjuring himself in a libel case against the Guardian. He is now 76, and a prison chaplain. “The first piece of advice I’d offer – and I did in the end take it myself, but rather too slowly – is don’t be in denial about your mistakes. The faster you fess up admit and say you’re sorry, the faster you will recover.”There won’t always be a quick fix and you may need to thoroughly change the direction of your life and career, he warns. “But I don’t believe any mistake is so bad that everything is irrecoverable and ruined. No one falls below the reach of God’s grace.”For 30-year-old former jockey Brian Toomey, a mistake he made during a race in 2013 almost cost him his life and left him with a head injury so severe he spent five months in hospital. He was told he would never be fit to ride again. He believes the fact that he didn’t berate himself about his error helped him to prove the doctors wrong.“I made a split-second decision going 30mph on an animal that can’t talk. It was the wrong decision. But I’ve never given myself a hard time about my accident or doubted I could be just as good a jockey as I was before.” He recovered enough to complete 23 more rides before deciding to become a racehorse trainer. “I was very determined.”Elizabeth Day, the podcaster and author of How to Fail: Everything I’ve Ever Learned from Things Going Wrong, believes it is possible to train your brain to change the way you perceive your mistakes. “We are all going to make mistakes. Once you accept that, you can look failure in the face and build up emotional resilience.”Challenging your internal critic can enable you to separate your mistakes from your sense of self-worth. “Making mistakes doesn’t make you a rubbish person,” says Day. “It may be that a particular career is not for you. You may have some very important learnings to take away. But these are helpful conclusions that can come from making mistakes.”Thing do not always go to plan – but that may lead to better outcomes in the long run, she points out. Besides, in her opinion, life is not just a pursuit of success and happiness. It’s also about weathering the storms as well as the calm seas. “I’ve made mistakes in my life. I’ve been divorced. I’ve tried and failed to have children. That causes me an enormous amount of sadness, but I choose to be at peace with that sadness – and to learn from it.”

  • The truth about sex: we are not getting enough
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    The Guardian

    The truth about sex: we are not getting enough

    ‘Our sexual landscape may look like the promised land, but not everyone wants to travel there’ Photograph: Getty ImagesWe owe a lot to the sex lives of Greeks. Ancient Greece gave us the origins of the names and concepts for homosexuality, homophobia and nymphomania, as well as narcissism and pederasty. The Romans talked freely to each other in toilets and were equally community-minded when it came to sex, with a reputation for lasciviousness and orgies. Georgians, we believe, were smutty, and Victorians were prudes and hypocrites. (All of these are partial truths.) We like to use sex as a mirror of an era, and to make judgments accordingly. What then, are we to make of us right now?This is the most sex-positive age ever, right? We are liberal and comfortable with sex like no other people have ever been. Our magazines publish articles on how to get on better with your clitoris. Porn is freely available (and accessed by teenagers). Erotic books are bestsellers, however badly written. TV broadcasts shows in which the contestants are naked, or have sex in a box, or make a sex tape on camera. If sexual choice were a shop, it would be a hypermarket, with dizzyingly long aisles of every possibility: straight, gay, bi, trans, poly, fluid, each with its own culture and each widely accepted.In this sex-positive version of reality, we have been unleashed from the bonds of church and religion, and suffocating family expectation; we are free, and we’re enjoying being easy. And society’s greater liberalism is matched by better scientific understanding of sex and the body parts that we use for it. This has been helped by the scientific gaze finally turning to the 51% of the population that it had mostly ignored, so that we know now that the clitoris, though smaller than the penis, has way more nerve endings. Despite what every Hollywood and TV scriptwriter believes, we may finally be accepting that more than 30% of women will not orgasm with penetration alone.> Millennials are having less sex than their parents; young people, we are told, are in a 'sex drought'Sex and power have come together to positive effect elsewhere, with the last couple of years of the MeToo movement. The use of power by men to get sex is as old as the Roman hills, and it is still endemic – along with appallingly low prosecution rates for rape – but something in that balance of power may have shifted, and for the good.How comforting this sex-positive vision is. How sophisticated and liberal we are.Except. A paper in a recent issue of the British Medical Journal summed up the findings of three huge national surveys into sexual attitudes, called Natsal, the latest of which was in 2012. Natsal is British in focus, but some of its findings are reflected globally: worldwide, we are having less sex less frequently and are more upset about it. In Britain, most of the decline in sexual frequency is in people aged over 25 and in long-term relationships. In the US, the over-50s reported the largest decline in how often they had sex, though Finnish middle-aged men reported they were getting sex more frequently. In Japan, the most sexual inactivity was in young single people. Millennials are having less sex than their parents; young people, we are told, are in a “sex drought”.Some other disquieting facts: girls as young as nine are now having surgery to modify their vulvas, and rates of labiaplasty are increasing 45% year-on-year. There is now a labiaplasty known as the “Barbie”, which does what it says and reduces female genitalia to doll-like smooth uniformity. That must be because alongside all the sex positivity is another message: you are inadequate and wrong. Hairless, labia-free female bodies; porn-hard erections; dizzying sexual possibility. If you don’t want to eat guacamole off your bisexual lover while multiple-orgasming in at least three different positions, but only on a Thursday, what’s wrong with you?Meanwhile, when the couples therapist Esther Perel did a Ted talk in 2013 on “the secret to desire in a long-term relationship”, it was watched 17m times on Ted and YouTube. All these numbers and facts point to a gap between the public, digital version of sex and the reality: that we are not getting enough of it and that when we do get it, it’s not satisfying.Our sexual landscape may look like the promised land, but not everyone wants to travel there. This may be down to the way our relationships have changed. Marriage used to be more straightforward: an economic arrangement with clear, though not fair, expectations. For women, security, a home and children and the right not to be raped by the nearest powerful man, or at least a lesser probability of that happening. For men, succession. Now, Perel says: “We want our partner to still give us all these things, but in addition I want you to be my best friend and my trusted confidant and my passionate lover to boot, and we live twice as long.”Esther Perel’s Ted talk on the secret to desire in a long-term relationshipIn their paper, the BMJ authors were careful to skewer expected conclusions. Pornography was too easy to blame, and in fact a US study showed that declines in sexual frequency were greatest among those who didn’t watch it. If we are in a state of anxious disconnect between public sex and our private activities, then it is to be expected: we’re knackered. Middle-aged women reported exhaustion as one of the main reasons they were having less sex. Having children later in life, as we now tend to do, leaves those in middle life with small children and ageing parents and full-time jobs, all at once. No wonder they see a bed and want only to sleep in it.Some of these figures could be because now that sex is primetime and ubiquitous, we feel more able to be honest about how much – or how little – we’re actually getting. But the researchers also noted that rates began to drop in 2007 and 2008. In 2007, the iPhone was launched, and in 2008, the world collapsed into recession. Anxiety, stress and exhaustion have led millions of people to be prescribed antidepressants (one in six Britons in 2017) – which are designed to combat those things but also dull libido. It is a heady package. “Should frequency of sexual contact serve as a barometer for more general human connectedness,” wrote the BMJ authors, “then the decline might be signalling a disquieting trend.”Many species appear to have purely reproductive sex. That we don’t, that we have an erotic life too, is a bonus and a blessing. But it is also the source of dismay, dissatisfaction, puzzlement, frustration, mystery, worry, delight and obsession.There may be a clearer lens being pointed at our sexual workings and wants, but our worries, fears and wonder about sex will outlive us all.

  • Kim Kardashian West and Kanye West name fourth child Psalm
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    The Guardian

    Kim Kardashian West and Kanye West name fourth child Psalm

    Kim Kardashian West and Kanye West arriving at the 2019 Met Gala. Photograph: Michael Buckner/Variety/REX/ShutterstockKim Kardashian West and her husband, the musician Kanye West, have named their new child Psalm after its recent birth via surrogate.Kardashian West posted a picture of the boy on social media with the caption “Psalm West”.The picture was accompanied by a message that read: “Beautiful Mother’s Day. With the arrival of our fourth child. We are blessed beyond measure. We have everything we need.”> Psalm West pic.twitter.com/F0elQd1cJq> > — Kim Kardashian West (@KimKardashian) May 17, 2019The couple already have three children: North, Saint and Chicago.This is the second time the couple have used a surrogate, having had one deliver Chicago in January last year, after the reality TV star was warned that she faced serious heath risks if she become pregnant again following the birth of Saint in 2015.The reality TV star shared the news of Psalm’s birth on Twitter on 10 May, writing: “He’s here and he’s perfect!”In another post, she wrote: “He’s also Chicago’s twin lol I’m sure he will change a lot but now he looks just like her.”

  • Surus was said to be whose last elephant? The Weekend quiz
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    Surus was said to be whose last elephant? The Weekend quiz

    All ears. Photograph: Getty Images The questions 1 Max Brod ignored whose requests to burn his manuscripts? 2 Which musical is set in the condemned Weismann theatre? 3 What court is divided into a centre third and two goal thirds? 4 What Italian dairy company was Europe’s largest bankruptcy? 5 Who opened the British hotel near Balaclava in 1855? 6 Surus was said to be whose last elephant? 7 Which lumps at the back of the nose usually disappear by adulthood? 8 Who might speak Shelta? What links: 9 Duke of Rothesay; Earl of Inverness; Earl of Forfar? 10 Willem Dafoe; Tony Curran; Tim Roth; Kirk Douglas? 11 Great; From The New World; Choral? 12 PIN number; PAC code; ISBN number; ATM machine; LCD display? 13 Australian Mist; Turkish Van; Norwegian Forest; Devon Rex? 14 Sophie Germain; Sarah Bernhardt; Isadora Duncan; Colette; Édith Piaf; Gertrude Stein? 15 Volga, Mississippi (1); Euphrates (3); Mekong, Rhine (6); Danube (10)?Edith Piaf performing in Paris in 1961. Photograph: Getty Images The answers 1 Franz Kafka. 2 Sondheim’s Follies. 3 Netball. 4 Parmalat. 5 Mary Seacole (and Thomas Day). 6 Hannibal. 7 Adenoids. 8 Irish Travellers. 9 Scottish titles of Princes Charles, Andrew and Edward. 10 Played Van Gogh on film or TV. 11 Ninth symphonies: Schubert; Dvorak; Beethoven. 12 Tautologous abbreviations. 13 Cat breeds. 14 Buried in Père Lachaise Cemetery, Paris. 15 Rivers (and how many countries they flow through).

  • A letter to the man who shushed my daughter
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    The Guardian

    A letter to the man who shushed my daughter

    ‘As my daughter squealed, I had a sense of what was to come.’ Image posed by models. Composite: Sarah Habershon/GettyI could tell you were getting edgy as you sat with your friends, drinking coffee and watching the crumbs from my eight-year-old daughter’s biscuit fall messily all over her school uniform. Your face gave away your disgust immediately.I was at the next table, helping her open the new toy we had just bought. Yet I had my eye on you, already feeling uncomfortable. I had a sense of what was to come, as I have become an expert at picking up the signs of intolerance.And then it happened – my daughter squealed loudly in delight as she tore open the wrapping of her toy. It was a sound of pure happiness and excitement, yet as she let it out, I felt my heartbeat quicken.Your response came in the form of an abrupt “shush”, and sweat began to appear on my forehead. From that moment on, I didn’t really hear a word my daughter said, my mind focused on asking myself whether you had actually shushed my daughter. I am usually a calm person, but at that moment I was angry with you, and angry with myself for not having told you off. I decided that I would speak to you before I left the cafe.You probably don’t realise the courage it took to approach your table, as you sat with four other middle-aged men, joking loudly and making quite some noise yourselves. But I did it. “Did you tell my daughter to shush?”You said: “If your daughter can’t keep quiet, you should keep her at home.” I answered without any forethought: “You probably don’t realise it, but my daughter has special needs and I will not keep her at home.”Do you know how painful it was for me to tell a stranger that my child has special needs? So painful that as I said it, the tears started to swell. I was mortified, but I felt sure that you would realise the error of your ways and scramble together an apology.Instead, my tears induced yet another rebuke: “Go home and cry to your mamma!” That is when I realised I was done with explaining to you, done with giving you the opportunity to understand, and done with trying to have an adult conversation with you.I hope one day you will learn to be tolerant, or I am sure you will end up alone, while I am surrounded by warmth and love.• We will pay £25 for every letter we publish. Email family@theguardian.com including your address and phone number. We are able to reply only to those whose contributions we are going to use.

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    NEW YORK — Hit a button, and you're "transformed" into a woman. The beard disappears. The face and jaw smooth out. The hair floats jauntily around the shoulders."Yo this is SPOT ON my mom." ''Pretty." ''Are you in a sorority?"A swipe and another click. Suddenly you're a square-jawed man — heavy of brow, sporting five o' clock shadow."I look like my brother Jay." ''Hahahaha Suzie I'm dyingggg." ''My sisters were like, 'um... strange. You're kinda hot' haha."The gender-bending selfies accompanied by flip or sarcastic comments are flooding social feeds since Snapchat introduced a filter this month allowing users to swap gender appearances with the tap of a finger. But for many people who have longed for a button that would change them in real life, the portrait parade isn't a game."My gender's not a costume," says Bailey Coffman, a 31-year-old transgender woman from New York. "This story that I feel is very real. I lost a lot to be who I am, and I fought really hard for the body that I'm in."And when certain people post it and write about how silly it is and how goofy they look with this filter," she says, "it makes light of the transgender experience."She and others, though, do see possibility in the pastime.Some argue that the filter, which Snapchat calls a "lens," could be a therapeutic tool that leads to self-discovery and even helps ease the transition of people struggling with gender identity once they see who they could become."There are people who haven't found themselves yet, and this is a great way to say 'This is really affirming for me' and to take that next step," says Savannah Daniels, 32, a military veteran living in Baltimore. She says she realized she identified as female after watching episodes of "RuPaul's Drag Race" while serving in Afghanistan as a chaplain's assistant in the U.S. Navy.Snapchat is not the first face-altering app with such a feature; FaceApp, for instance, has had one for years. But users of the Snapchat filter unveiled the second week of May have noted its high quality. And, of course, the very popularity of Snapchat amplifies the feature further.Snapchat's maker, Snap Inc., which has drawn criticism for a Bob Marley filter some likened to blackface and another that overlaid stereotypically Asian features on users' photos, commented about its filter in an emailed statement."We understand that identity is deeply personal," the company said. "As we have and continue to explore the possibilities of this technology, our Lens design team is working ... to ensure that on the whole these Lenses are diverse and inclusive by providing a wide range of transformative effects."Jessie Daniels (no relation to Savannah Daniels), a City University of New York professor and an expert in digital sociology, says that for people unfamiliar with the concept of gender as fluid — not innate and not binary; that is, not strictly male or female — such filters can be both radical and transformative."They get a chance to play with gender in a way that many of us who are LGBTQ have played with gender our whole lifetimes and understand the social construct part of it," she says.That could be meaningful for youths reckoning with gender identity or, she says, just for putting the notion of gender fluidity on youngsters' radar. A survey last year by Common Sense Media found that 44% of teenagers use Snapchat as their primary social app."I do hope this does help some people better recognize their gender," says Elliott "Ellie" Wheeler, a 16-year-old sophomore at Michigan's East Lansing High School who, combining the words female and butch, identifies as a "futch" lesbian.Because most of her social media contact comes with trans people, she says, she hasn't seen much use of the Snapchat filter. But she also doesn't hold the company responsible for any controversy.CUNY's Daniels, though, wonders whether the filter is an attempt by Snapchat, which has struggled against competition from Facebook and Instagram , to win back market share. Snap Inc. did not respond specifically to questions about its business strategy, saying in its email only that "we regularly experiment with new technologies and features as part of our mission to empower self-expression."For people who are finding the fun in the game, Savannah Daniels urges them not to enjoy it and then simply dismiss "actual living beings that are trans." She reminded people of that Saturday with a tweet under her moniker, "Miss Clean Legs," that went viral."These new Snapchat filters got y'all out here having fun with gender roles, joking about sex with your homeboys, and sporting beards with lashes. All we ask is that you keep that same energy when you interact with actual transgender and non-binary ppl."___Find Jeff McMillan on Twitter: @JeffMcMillanPAJeff McMillan, The Associated Press

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    ‘I have nightmares where I’m chased by a burger.’ Photograph: Getty ImagesA few years ago, the word “adulting” seemed to reach its peak. I’d see it referenced everywhere – in ad campaigns, in real-life conversations, on mass-produced gifts like the mug that reads: “Coffee, because adulting is hard.” As a hashtag suffix to the truly mundane and simple, it saturated social media (“I did laundry! adulting!”).I never liked the word. I didn’t like how easy it made adulthood seem, as if the stuff we’ve been doing since our teens (buying groceries, doing admin) was all there was to it. It suggested we have some choice in the matter; as though we can choose to adult when we want, when in fact we’re all dragged into adulthood, no matter how unprepared we are.I’ve been thinking about this because last week I started my first diet. It is the most adult thing I have done, and pure suffering: hell is a dry Ryvita. But I do it because I am grown-up enough to engage with the idea of my mortality. I am mature enough to subject myself to the misery, knowing the best outcome is not my wildest dream come true, but something just…OK.I am up for being a bit more honest about it. I can see it now: an Instagram vid of me snapping at a colleague because I’m hungry and have nightmares where I’m chased by a burger. adulting! Me, smiling over a bowl of couscous created in the hopes it is so boring I won’t eat it. adulting. Me, 4am, having given up the diet and drunk-tweeting pictures of fried chicken claiming it is part of the vodka diet (lose three days in a week) adulting.Still, I’m not sure my approach will go viral any time soon. But perhaps we could make a new hashtag to truthfully sum up the adulthood experience. SurprisinglyDifficultDrudgery, anyone?

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