Tess Holiday talks 'lightbulb moment' with eating disorder: 'I'm starting to try and feed my body'
Tess Holliday is getting real about living with an eating disorder.
The model and body positivity advocate took to Instagram over the weekend to speak candidly with her followers about her struggle with anorexia.
The 36-year-old shared a trigger warning with her followers about the highly sensitive topic before revealing that she has felt as though she doesn't "deserve" to feed her body and "taught to restrict food to not be 'fat.'"
Holliday, who was diagnosed a year ago with anorexia, said she receives messages everyday from people who resonate with her struggle with disordered eating despite also receiving "ridicule" from trolls online.
"I don’t care. Let them talk. They always have and honestly, they pay my bills with the exposure so...," Holliday wrote.
In the video, the mother-of-two shared a recent "lightbulb" moment while preparing herself food.
"There are so many people that question whether or not I have disordered eating or whether or not I struggle with anorexia and they like to troll me off it," she began, adding that people in larger bodies are often doubted when it comes to eating disorders.
Holliday said she realized that she has a hard time fuelling her body because she's made to feel as though she doesn't "deserve" it.
“Of course I have a hard time feeding my body," Holliday said. "I literally have been told my entire life that I don’t deserve to feed my body."
"Everyone in my life has always said, 'Are you sure you want to eat that?' [or] 'Don't eat that'— it's just constant," she continued. "From the moment that I was plus-size which was [when I was] 11. So I think it's pretty f—-ing cool that I'm starting to try and feed my body and not be hard on myself. People are still going to call me fat and judge me, but whatever, man. My life's great."
Holliday's video was quickly met with applause and support from fans who have had similar experiences.
"I was 6. My body has not known peace since literal infancy," one Instagram user commented.
"Thanks so much for sharing this!" wrote another. "I grew up pretty thick, and my mom was always super skinny — size 00. She was always so focused on being skinny that when I started to get bigger than her, I felt like I wasn't pretty enough. It took me a long time to have a normal relationship with food, and there are still so many ebbs and flows. This is a great message though! You beam with confidence."
"Oh, I love you so much," another commented. "Honestly, I don't know what it would feel like to eat something and not obsess about it. Like not worried before I eat it not worry after I eat it to just enjoy it without guilt. Or catch myself being proud of the fact that I'm hungry. That's scary shit. Thank you for being the public face for so many of us."
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