Three things with Cal Wilson: ‘What I’d save in a fire? My gloriously grotesque concrete bird bath’

·2 min read

Cal Wilson traded Christchurch for Melbourne back in 2003. In the 18 years since her trans-Tasman move, the comedian has been a fixture on Australian TV screens, dispensing her playful wit on everything from Spicks and Specks to Thank God You’re Here and Have You Been Paying Attention?

This year, Wilson has spent a lot more time watching TV than appearing on it: specifically, she’s been bingeing a decade-old reality program called Love It or List It: Vancouver. But after a long stretch in lockdown, Wilson is happy to finally get off the couch and back on stage with a pair of shows at So Soiree this weekend, as part of the Melbourne fringe festival.

Related: Three things with HG Nelson: ‘I think, ooh, I’m guarding a bit of a historical artefact here’

As well as brushing up on Canada’s housing market, Wilson’s lockdown hobbies included getting trigger happy with a hot glue gun. Here, she tells us about the “ridiculous headdresses” she made to stave off boredom, and the stories of two other beloved belongings.

What I’d save from my house in a fire

A gloriously grotesque concrete bird bath in the shape of three cats sitting on top of each other, with one holding the dish part.

I coveted it loudly when my husband and I first lived together. He managed to buy it so sneakily that I got all snippy with him at Christmas, thinking he hadn’t taken any notice. He produced it out of thin air on Christmas morning. Humble pie? Mmm, delicious.

It’s incredibly heavy and would be the worst thing to lug out of a fire. I haven’t thought this through at all.

My most useful object

My hot glue gun, because making ridiculous headdresses with it kept me sane over lockdown. Plus, in a pinch, you can use it to hem a skirt. I will take no further questions.

The item I most regret losing

A silver bangle that was a family heirloom dream. It got thrown out with the rubbish, at a friend’s place, more than 30 years ago. I still have dreams about finding it. My mother still doesn’t know. (Nobody print this out and show it to her!)

Also, I regret losing the ability to stand up from a sitting position without making a “hgnnnnnrrgh” noise.

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