Top 10: Perverted Behaviors To Stop


In light of Dominique Strauss-Kahn's fall -- from IMF chief and French presidential hopeful to accused sexual predator -- we're taking the opportunity to remind ourselves that some behaviors just don't cut it. We may all be perverts at heart, but no matter what perversion you may find sexy, there are always lines that, as a guy, you can never ever cross. 

But then there are the lines that get blurred. While you might think your sexual appetite is completely normal, your partner, however, might have a hard time getting past the fact that you have such a strong interest in the sexual relationships of her past or that you have more porn on your hard drive than the entire staff of Penthouse. If it's early in the relationship, she might find your perverted behaviors all too much to handle and make a run for the door.

Here are the top 10 perverted behaviors you need to stop if you want to get the girl without scaring her off.

There is always some element of truth behind a joke’s punch line. It's fine to joke with or about her friends, but when you make sexual jokes about them, it's going to set off the sirens in her head. It means you picture her friends in a sexual way, even if you're only making a joke. She doesn't want you making comments about her friends, thinking about her friends, looking at her friends, or even acknowledging her friends in any sexual capacity. Even if she asks you directly, it's a trap, with no correct answer. Don't talk about her friends in any other way than in friendly terms -- unless they are bitches, but even then, let her say it first.

There are acceptable occasions when men find themselves in a strip club: bachelor parties, trips with a boss/clients or sometimes just because the drinks were flowing and the guys wanted to stop by to say hello to hooters and goodbye to their hard-earned cash. She understands that it's sometimes what guys do. She doesn't understand why it's something you always have to do. If your night always ends by watching a young lady making magic on the pole, she is going to think there is more going on than normal guy fun. Even if it rarely happens, as far as she is concerned, a guy can go home with a stripper at any moment. She is going to think you're looking for a little more than just a lap dance.

Couples talk about their pasts, especially the where past relationships and sex are involved. Talking about the sexual past is a way to find out the likes and dislikes of your partner and it’s also usually a good indicator of which sexual acts are up for discussion and which are completely off limits. It's only natural that you'd ask about her sexual resume. Just don't seem too interested. You don't need to know every graphic detail and all the who, what, where, and how many times. It makes it seem like you’re less interested in her as a serious sexual partner and more as a sexual fantasy.

Porn is everywhere. Going to any search engine right now and searching for “boobs” will reveal thousands of pictures. Its accessibility is all the more reason that a guy doesn't need a reserve or porn available anymore. There is no need to have a special hidden file of smut -- unless you're into something ridiculously kinky or illegal, and she certainly doesn't want to know about that. If she finds your porn stash, she is going to think that you need to look at dirty pictures so badly that you can't even wait for the couple of seconds while the search engine does its job. Delete the secret stash.

A quick pinch of the butt or a nibble of the neck: there are more than a few touchy-feely moves you can make in public to get her a little aroused and keep the relationship sexual and playful. There are, however, some places on her body that you should never touch in public -- no matter how few eyes are watching at the moment. If you can't keep your hands off of her in public, she will think you don't know how to behave in any situation. If you're willing to cop a feel in a crowded mall, who says you won't do it in front of her boss at an office party or at her parents’ wedding anniversary party. We’re not completely against some PDA, but do keep it in check.

Sexting is the new phone sex. There’s no "what are you wearing?" or heavy breathing, just a randomly placed explicit pic at any time of the day. It's actually not a bad thing at all and keeps the relationship exciting because it proves you’re still attracted to her and think about her in a dirty way during the day or late at night when she isn't around. What isn't acceptable is randomly sending pics of your penis while she is in the middle of a sales meeting or at lunch with her mom. You just never know who might be around, looking over her shoulder while she checks her message. Plus, have you really taken a good look at the male anatomy? It's not easy to look at and then enjoy the rest of your ham and cheese sandwich.

A man has to do what a man has to do. Sometimes he has to do it to himself. Even when he is getting sex on a consistent basis, a guy still has to relieve a little of his extra sexual energy, and once a day should really be enough. If you're getting sex on the regular and still masturbating two to three times a day, it’s a sign you might have a couple issues that run deeper than just horniness. If she finds out you're still masturbating so often, she is going to think that she isn't doing a good enough job and that she is dating a man-boy who just found his dad's porn stash. Both of these circumstances do not appeal to her. Try to keep the oscillating of the Oscar Meyer to a minimum. Also, make sure to never get caught: she'll never let you live it down.

Art comes in many forms and ranges from exquisite paintings to the Sunday comic strip. It's all in the eye of the beholder and each work tells a very different story. Your love of anime is less an appreciation of art and more a display of your love for massively chested women and the possibility those cartoon cuties might get it on at any minute. She accepts that you’re a grown man who is still into comic books, but when half of the pictures are scantily clad women with zeppelins for breasts, it looks like you're immature and into kinky things. Don’t ever ask her to dress up like your favorite female character if she isn’t into it, either.

Forbidden nookie is often the best kind. In this case, forbidden means anywhere it wouldn't be good to get caught. Examples are elevators, dressing rooms and her parents’ house while visiting for a long weekend. It's understandable to suggest it, but to her it might seem a little off-putting that you want to bump uglies with her parents in the general vicinity. She might assume you've either got a sick fantasy about getting caught by her parents or even worse, getting her parents involved (at least her mom). Whatever your reason, no matter how innocent, she probably won't be down and might not be able to get in the mood knowing her mom and dad are a wall away. Of course, if she suggests it, then maybe the pervert in the relationship isn't you. In that case, well done! She is a catch.

Couples having sex on a cam is becoming more acceptable by the day. It's just a fun little activity to add some spice to the relationship and is a fun memento to have for future foreplay. The only reason it's not more widely accepted by women is the "what if" factor down the road; what if the relationship doesn't work out and you've got a tiny little revenge bone in your body that might have you screening the movie for friends or the world wide web. If you propose the idea and she says no, you have to respect her wishes because filming her without her knowledge is just plain creepy.

For more of our dating top 10 content that may help you out, see our Top 10: Ways To Blow It With A Beautiful Woman and our Top 10: Ways To Become The Most Interesting Guy.