Try “the Big Four” Tradition and You'll Never Want Regular Presents
My friends and I are obsessed with Christmas — like, decorating-our-dorms-in-November obsessed. But as college students on a budget, we needed a way to make holiday gift-giving affordable and meaningful.
The concept we decided on is simple but ingenious: We “assign” out names Secret Santa-style, and each person puts together a gift box for their giftee with one thing the person needs, one thing they want, one thing that reminds you of them, and one thing in their favorite color. I have been doing this with my friends for two years now, and this year was even better than the last.
The Secret Santa format means everyone gets a gift without spending a ton (we each keep it under $50). It’s thoughtful, budget-friendly, and honestly way more exciting than just swapping wish list items.
How to Start “the Big Four” Gift Tradition with Your Friends
If you love the idea of trying this gift exchange method with your friends, here’s exactly how you can make it happen this holiday season.
Set the Rules
This method turns out so well with my friends because we’re all super clear about how it will work. If you also want to give it go, establish a spending limit early on that works for everyone. Again, my friends and I stick to $50, but it should be whatever you and your friends feel comfortable with.
Then, make sure everyone understands the four categories: something the person needs, something they want, something that reminds you of them, and something in their favorite color.
Going the Secret Santa Route? Pick Names Secretly
If you want to assign a random person to each friend like my friends and I do, you can draw names out of a hat in person or use an online generator like Elfster if your group is spread out geographically.
Of course, you can also simply use this “Big Four” blueprint for individual gifting — it’s perfect for a bestie, sibling, or significant other when a full group exchange isn’t an option.
Shop for Your Gift
Don’t forget to think about the four categories while shopping for your giftee: If you keep them as a checklist in your Notes app, for example, it makes the whole process easier and more intentional.
Remember to stick to your budget (it keeps things fair for everyone else, too!), and know that thoughtfulness matters more than price. Go for personal touches: Whether it’s a DIY element or something that shows you really “get” your friend, those details make all the difference.
Then, for an extra-adorable touch, use a cute box or basket to hold everything — and don’t forget festive tissue paper.
Exchange Your Gifts
Plan a day to meet up, swap your boxes, and watch everyone’s reactions as they open their presents. It’s so heartwarming to see how thoughtful everyone gets with their picks!
If you and your friends live all over, you could also ship them to each other and then do a Zoom gift exchange.
My Favorite Finds for “the Big Four” Gift Tradition This Year
This year I did all my shopping at T.J. Maxx, which was a goldmine for cute and affordable gifts. I also loved picking out a decorative box and tissue paper to tie everything together. Here’s what I put in my friend’s box to fit each category.
Something She Needs
I chose a framed photo of our friend group. My friend recently moved into her own apartment, and I felt like this was something she needed to make her space feel more like home.
Something She Wants
For this category, I went with a beginner-friendly crochet reindeer kit. She’s been talking about wanting to try crocheting ever since she saw it trending on TikTok.
Something That Reminds Me of Her
An initial necklace. My friend loves layering necklaces, and the one I saw felt so like her when I saw it. Plus, initial jewelry is super trendy right now!
Something in Her Favorite Color
I spotted a yellow crystal candle that smells amazing. It matches her room’s vibe and adds such a cozy, stylish touch.
This tradition has brought my friend group so much joy and strengthened our relationships. If you’re looking for a meaningful yet affordable way to exchange gifts with your friends this holiday season, I can’t recommend it enough.
This post originally appeared on Dorm Therapy. See it there: I Started “the Big Four” Gift Tradition with My Friends, and I Never Want to Go Back to Regular Presents
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