This Year, Try Saying NO to Resolutions: 5 Things You Can Do Instead (Exclusive)

Each January, about half of American adults make New Year’s resolutions: pledges to ourselves and the universe which usually involve doing less of the things we love too well and more of the things that we’re supposed to do. For many of us, the resolutions we choose — that we’ll read or exercise more, that we’ll eat or drink less — tend to be the same year after year, and with consistently disappointing results.

Studies show that 80 percent of New Year's resolutions tend to be abandoned by the middle of February. By Valentine’s Day, we’re berating ourselves for our failures, and when December 31st rolls around, we embrace a “new year, new you” mentality once more, setting ourselves up for another year of feeling bad about ourselves when we remain the same people we always were.

What if we used this January’s fresh-start opportunity to reset something else: the idea that we have to fix ourselves before our lives can get better? The solution to a happier, more productive 2025 may lie less in vows of self-criticism than in clear-eyed assessments of how we spend our days. What if, this year, we resolve to stop obligating ourselves to do things that don’t fulfill us? What if, this year, we start saying no — to the oversized and ongoing commitments that take our time and energy without giving us much in return?

Here, in place of resolutions, are five things to consider saying “no” to this January:

Say “no” to the thing you’re still doing mainly because you dread saying you can’t do it anymore.

Our fear of disappointing others can become the main reason we continue to participate in activities that drain us. Face the discomfort, have the uncomfortable conversation and feel the freedom.

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Say “no” to the thing your kid hates doing anyway.

Parents are often afraid to let their kids give up on sports or other activities, fearing that letting kids quit will teach them the wrong lessons. But a little more slack in our families’ busy schedules can both reduce household tension and allow our kids the time to discover their true passions.

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Say “no” to the idea that “it has to be you.”

Those of us who have traditionally done more than our share can fall prey to the notion that each important task — even if thankless — is ours to accomplish, that there’s really no one else who can make those fundraising calls or fix the elderly neighbor’s leaky faucet.

Although being the dependable one can feel gratifying, allowing ourselves to be cast as the person who always says “yes” will usually only increase the requests others make of us.

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Say “no” to the thing that’s stopping you from doing what you really want to be doing.

Our bandwidth and resources are finite. In order to have the time to do what matters most, we need to be specific — and honest — with ourselves about what those few priorities are, then be willing to be a little ruthless in cutting out the optional commitments that get in the way.

Say “no” to thinking we have to fix ourselves.

Too often, our New Year’s resolutions are assignments to improve the things we most dislike about ourselves, instead of promises to ourselves that we will do more of the things we enjoy, thereby honoring what we already love about our lives and who we are.

This year, consider exchanging resolutions for “resoNOtions” — commitments to yourself to  clear the path, in order to make room for more of the good stuff.

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