Carrie Underwood’s time away from the spotlight was anything but a vacation.
The “Cry Pretty” singer made headlines last year after a freak accident required more than 40 stitches to her face. However the 35-year-old country superstar was dealing with far more than fans could have imagined.
In an emotional new interview, Underwood revealed to “CBS Sunday Morning” that she suffered multiple miscarriages, making 2017 the most trying year of her life.
“I’d kind of planned that 2017 was, you know, going to be the year that I work on new music, and I have a baby,” Underwood told CBS correspondent, Tracy Smith. “We got pregnant early 2017, and it didn’t work out.”
The couple, who are parents to three-year-old son Isaiah, relied on family and their faith to get them through the heartache.
“In the beginning it was like, ‘OK, God, we know this is, just wasn’t Your timing. And that is all right. We will bounce back and figure our way through it.’ And got pregnant again in the spring, and it didn’t work out,” Underwood said through tears. “Got pregnant again, early 2018. Didn’t work out. So, at that point, it was just kind of like, ‘OK, like, what’s the deal? What is all of this?'”
Underwood, who is married to NHLer Mike Fisher, said she struggled to make sense of the loss and her feelings. During her time off, she wrestled with writing and recording her sixth studio album and tried her best to put on a brave face for the rest of the world.
“I had always been afraid to be angry,” Underwood revealed. “Because we are so blessed. And my son, Isaiah, is the sweetest thing. And he’s the best thing in the world. And I’m like, ‘If we can never have any other kids, that’s OK, because he’s amazing.’ And I have this amazing life. Like, really, what can I complain about? I can’t. I have an incredible husband, incredible friends, an incredible job, an incredible kid. Can I be mad? No… And I got mad.”
The singer revealed her breaking point was during what she thought was another miscarriage, when she broke down and prayed for help.
“Mike was away just for the evening, and I texted him, and I was like, ‘I don’t really want to be alone, so I’m just gonna go snuggle with Isaiah.’ And I don’t know how I didn’t wake him up, but I was just sobbing,” Underwood said. “And I was like, ‘Why on Earth do I keep getting pregnant if I can’t have a kid? Like, what is this? Shut the door. Like, do something. Either shut the door or let me have a kid.’ And for the first time, I feel like I actually I told God how I felt… That was like a Saturday – and the Monday I went to the doctor to, like, confirm, another miscarriage. And they told me everything was great!”
After a year of struggling, things are finally looking up for Underwood who will go on tour to promote her new album in 2019 with her family of four.