Woman confronts boyfriend after catching his ‘cruel’ at-home behavior: ‘He is gaslighting you’

Emerald Pellot

October 26, 2021 at 4:31 p.m.·3 min read

A woman was horrified to learn her boyfriend was lying to her for months.

She asked Reddit’s “Am I the A******” forum for help. Her boyfriend, identified as “A,” secretly moved her things around. Every time she confronted him about it, A denied doing it. But when she caught him in the act, he blew up at her.

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“My boyfriend A has been moving stuff around any room in the house for about four months now,” she wrote. “At first, it started with small things like the toothpaste lid being open after I remember closing it or my clothes moving out of the hamper. I asked A if he noticed anything weird, and he just shrugged me off, and said I was probably just seeing things. After this first conversation, it cooled down, and nothing seemed out of place, but then I started finding clothes I had put away on the floor or the bed I had made undone. One day I was fed up and decided to put my phone in our bedroom and leave it recording. I made the bed and told A I was going to the store. I went and sat in my car for 10 minutes, and when I came back, the bed was unmade. I confronted A about this before watching the footage. He said I was crazy and I told him about the phone. He got up and started yelling in my face about ‘how I set him up’ and that ‘I won’t find anything.'”

She was shocked by how angry the confrontation made her boyfriend.

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“He’s never used this type of anger or language on me before, so I was honestly scared and confused,” she explained. “I went and grabbed the phone and, lo and behold, there he is unmaking the bed. I showed him the footage, and he screamed that I was a crazy b****, and he stormed out. A came back a couple of hours later trying to apologize. I asked him why he was messing with me for months and lead[ing] me to believe I was crazy, and he said that this was the only time he’s done it, as he knows it’s been bothering me, and he thought it’d be funny. I asked him why he didn’t just say that instead of just blowing up on me and denying it. I then told him [that] until he tells me the truth, and that he’s obviously been doing this for months, that I will be staying at my mom’s and I will not be speaking to him.”

Redditors thought the boyfriend’s behavior was a huge red flag.

“He is gaslighting you, and blowing up when he gets caught, and then doubling down with more gaslighting,” a user commented.

“You’ll probably never truly understand why he’s done it, but you can just focus on how weirdly cruel it was to you,” someone wrote.

“That’s not a red flag. That’s a chainsaw and hockey mask,” another said.

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