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Woman pens open letter to doctor who diagnosed her son with Down syndrome

(Facebook/News Anchor to Homemaker)
(Facebook/News Anchor to Homemaker)

“We didn’t know much about Down syndrome. Turns out, neither did you,” writes Jillian Benfield in an open letter shared on Scary Mommy. The mother of two recently opened up about the experience she had when her doctor told her she would be having a baby with Down syndrome.

“Dear Doctor, Two years after you delivered the news that our son would be born with Down syndrome, I still struggle when reliving that surreal 20 minutes in your white-walled office.”

She describes how she and her husband knew something was wrong when they were called to meet with the doctor. How when they arrived at his office they were offered two choices: to abort or continue with the pregnancy. There was no talk of further testing.

“When I asked you what Down syndrome meant for our child’s life, you said this: ‘At worst he will never be able to feed himself. At best he will mop the floors of a fast food restaurant one day.’ That was it. The entire talk about his actual diagnosis was made up of arbitrary limitations, deemed by you.”

The meeting left her feeling like her unborn son’s life was not going to be one worth living.

While Benfield ultimately decided to go through with the pregnancy, she’s speaking out now because she feels like her doctor failed her.

“You failed me because you chose not to follow the nationally recognized guidelines that are in place on how to deliver a Down syndrome diagnosis. The guidelines state that medical professionals should present both the negative and positive aspects of a life with Down syndrome and in an unbiased manner.”

Citing a 2013 study, Benfield discovered that she was not alone in her experience and that nearly one in four families who receive a Down Syndrome diagnosis during pregnancy are encouraged to terminate by a medical professional.

“Although I don’t expect you to know as much as a specialist about Down syndrome, I’m asking you to learn some basics about the most common chromosomal condition in the world. Tell your patients the possible medical complications, but also tell them about the therapies available today. Tell them about the possible developmental delays, but also tell them that many children with Down syndrome are now included in the general classroom setting and hundreds of college programs are now available.”

Now a blogger focusing on stories about Down syndrome and an advocate for special needs right, Benfield ends her letter by asking the doctor to do better.

“As an OB-GYN with decades of experience, I know I was not your first patient to receive this diagnosis, and I will not be the last. You must do better. Lives are depending on it. Not just the lives of the unborn, but also the lives of your patients who will forever be affected by the decision they make.”