A woman pregnant with quadruplets is stirring debate online after confessing she is considering a selective abortion.
In a post to Reddit, a 27-year-old woman said she and her husband had tried to conceive naturally without success. After “a couple rounds of IVF,” the couple were thrilled to discover they were finally pregnant.
Things quickly went from baby bliss to panic as they learned they were expecting multiples.
“Fast forward. We find out we're pregnant and we are super happy, like over the moon ecstatic. We couldn't wait for the 12 week mark to tell people, and started working on a nursery right away,” the anonymous mom-to-be wrote. “However, we go to our scan and find out we are having FOUR babies. Four. That's insane. I'm cutting a lot of backstory out because honestly, it's hard for me to talk about. At the time, my husband and I are just in shock, but happy we have healthy babies.”
The woman said given her five-foot frame, the option of selective abortion was presented “for the sake of her body.” She admitted the option came as a slight relief, as she was already beginning to panic about the cost of raising four children.
“We could afford two babies, but no way could we afford four,” she said. “Me and my husband are distraught that this is our reality, but we went home and tried to figure it out.”
As they weighed their options, the couple learned they were expecting identical twin girls and fraternal boys. In light of their latest option, the woman said she is learning towards carrying the girls full term.
“If we go through with the selective abortion, which we most likely will, I brought up that I would like to keep the two girls as they are identical twins (I'm hoping they have the 'twin bond') and also, to be honest, I've always wanted girls,” she wrote. “My husband is on board with this, but as soon as I told my mother and sister the scenario they kicked off, calling us selfish, entitled, saying we are searching for designer babies, etc.”
“The way I see it is that we have to make a choice which babies go if we do this, and it breaks our hearts that we are in this position but we need to do what we can for the sake of our children,” she continued. “This story sounds so tragic, like a soap storyline or something but it's honestly the hardest thing I have ever done.”
The reactions online have been mixed. While some echo the couple’s concerns of “designer babies” others are encouraging the parents-to-be to seek further medical guidance.
“Is there any medical reason to pick one child over the other? Are all the children equally healthy? If so, then make this choice in whatever way is easiest for you. Do whatever is best for your family,” one person asked. “This is the hardest choice I can imagine making, I’m sorry you are facing such a heartbreaking decision.”
Others recommended the parents base their decision off of the health of the embryos only.
“Personally I would go for the healthiest babies whether or not that's the identical twins or the fraternal twins or one from each set. I would hate to pick one that ended up having more deficits because it wasn't the healthiest choice,” a Reddit user advised. “You are the parents and you need to answer those questions, but honestly, pick the ones that are the healthiest regardless of gender.”
The consensus overall was that these decisions although difficult are best kept private, and not to be discussed with extended family - or the internet.
“Stop telling people. This is not a matter for your mother. This is not a matter for your sister. This is nobody’s business but your own,” a user cautioned. “Personally I am against abortion, but thats not what this is about. This is about you personal issues. You have made your decisions.”