"It's Condescending And Creepy" — Women, Tell Us The Things Guys Think Are "Normal" That Make You Feel Unsafe

Alana Valko
·2 min read

I don't know about you, but as a woman, I'm constantly surveying my safety and surroundings, especially when I'm alone, by myself at night, or maybe one-on-one with someone I don't know.

Person sitting on a bus, looking out the window while holding a smartphone
Klaus Vedfelt / Getty Images

Just the other week, I was sitting on the bus when a man near me got aggressively angrier and asked patrons on the train, "Who wants to fight?" While accidentally making eye contact, he looked at me and said, "Sorry, I don't fight women." Was my eye contact an invitation? When he exited the bus, he punched the window I was sitting by. I felt lucky that other people were nearby and questioned what might have happened if I was alone.

A person in deep thought on a bus, leaning on a handrail, wearing a corduroy jacket and holding a smartphone
Valentinrussanov / Getty Images/iStockphoto

That's more of an extreme case that clearly made me and others near feel uncomfortable, but it got me thinking about all the less "obvious" or seemingly "normal" things guys do all the time that make women unsafe. So, if you're a woman, what are some things that guys think are totally "normal" but actually make you feel very unsafe?

Maybe you always slightly shudder when a man touches the small of your back when they needs to get past you in a bar or crowded place. You know they don't do that to other men, so why must they do it to you?

Person sitting, receiving a gentle reassuring pat on the back from another individual in a cozy indoor setting
Constantinis / Getty Images

Perhaps you've been hit on multiple times in locations where you couldn't exactly escape their advances, like in an elevator, a parking garage, or even at work. These guys weren't necessarily malicious, but the fact that you couldn't get out of the situation if it turned bad made you feel unsafe.

Two people in a modern glass elevator; a man in a suit presses a button while a woman in a sleeveless blouse watches
Lechatnoir / Getty Images

Maybe there have been a few times when you were "play" fighting with a boyfriend or partner at the time, and they used strength or force in a way that you could not fight back. You know you were "playing," but it made you uncomfortable, even if it wasn't technically ill-intentioned.

Two people playfully wrestling on a sandy beach, laughing and enjoying the moment
Tomas Rodriguez / Getty Images

So, let us know in the comments or at this anonymous form the behaviors men think are "normal" that actually make you feel unsafe. Your responses could be featured in an upcoming BuzzFeed Community post.

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