10 Annoying Things You Do At Restaurants That Servers HATE
It seems like people everywhere are getting just a little too comfortable with bad behavior these days. People taking loud phone calls on the train, rubbing their bare feet on your airplane armrest, playing music with no headphones... the hits just keep on coming. (None of these things are acceptable, by the way.) And that doesn't even include the bad behavior often spotted at your favorite dining establishments.
As someone who has worked in the service industry, I've seen my fair share of unwelcome or even downright rude and entitled behavior. There are obvious no-no's when it comes to how to behave as a customer in a restaurant, but there are also some behaviors you might not know are a real annoyance to your servers. While you may think you pass muster when it comes to being an impeccable exemplar of a restaurant customer, sometimes there are things you do that just irk employees—and make their jobs even harder.
After speaking with a handful of past and present fellow servers, it became clear which pet peeves stood out the most. Even if you think you might not be doing anything wrong, there are still some ways you may be making your hard-working server's life a little more difficult without realizing (in fact, you may even be trying to help!). Here are some common grievances of the restaurant waitstaff and industry insiders.
1. Asking for separate checks at the very end
This might be the most egregious of all, especially since it can be so easily avoided! If you do need to ask for separate checks for a large group (maybe you have to leave the party early, we get it), just let your server know at the beginning of your meal. This will help your server keep everyone's order straight from the get-go, and minimizes the amount of times they'll have to hog the often-limited POS terminals. Let's be real, in the age of Venmo, you don't need to be causing a traffic jam come check time.
As one server sagely noted on Reddit, "If all 10 of you have 10 separate cards, then I'm sure you also have Zelle and can send money to a friend." As can be expected, each venue likely has different technology they use for their bills and those can make a difference. If you want to split the bill more than three ways, it can get annoying, explains Cayla DiFabio, a former restaurant professional. "And sometimes you can get screwed on tipping," she lamented.
2. Ordering one... thing... at... a... time
This might seem like a no-brainer but as your meal progresses, you might think to order another glass of water as your server passes by. And when they return with your drink, your friend then asks for ketchup. And when your server returns with the ketchup, you realize you could use a fresh knife. And on and on it goes. Instead, order that second round of drinks all together so your server doesn't have to run around all day. This is a common grievance among servers, as both Camille Lowder, Digital Culinary Producer & Editor at Delish, and Julia Smith, Director of Community Audience and Development, shared. "Working brunch was the worst because people would ask for water, then coffee, then, 'Oh! You know what? A mimosa,'" Smith told me. Let's streamline the ordering process when possible, people!
3. Stacking plates
There has been heated debate over whether or not you should help your server out by stacking your plates when you're finished with a dish. While some servers don't mind the consideration, others think it often creates more mess and many patrons don't properly stack them anyway. "The gesture is really nice as people think it's helpful," explains DiFabio. "But as a server, we're trained a certain way to stack plates on our arms so we can carry more without dropping." If you find it prudent to signal to your server that you would like your table to be cleared, simply leave your cutlery on your *unstacked* plate, with your utensil handles pointing toward 4 o'clock and the opposite end pointing towards 10 o'clock. This often signals to your waitstaff that you have finished.
4. Playing musical chairs
When in doubt, don't just seat yourself. Wait for an employee to let you know that a table has become available. And don't play musical chairs—and by that I mean switching chairs between key moments of your meal (for example, ordering/serving/paying time)—especially if you want separate checks. It makes waitstaff feel like you're playing the "shell game"and you may wind up with your neighbor's meal. DiFabio provides some rules of thumb to follow if you want to chitchat around the table during your time out: "Switching seats is fine in the beginning or after the meal, but if you order and then switch your seat before the food comes out, that can sometimes screw up the order of who gets what."
5. Flirting ;)
You might be inclined to slip that cute server your digits or ask them out for drinks after your meal...after all, your server has been extremely nice. But don't mistake that congeniality for flirting. Servers score better tips the nicer they are, as Lowder told me, but that doesn't mean they want to date you. "Don't act like you're going to hang out later or like they're trying to steal your date. This is a purely transactional relationship," she said. Keep things strictly professional—you don't want any awkward run-ins next time you come in, after all.
6. Not making space for servers
A cast-iron platter of sizzling fajitas making its way to your table is a spectacle—a true dinner and a show, if you will. But you'd be surprised how often servers' fingertips are nearly burnt off from holding a hot plate while awkwardly waiting for customers to move their phones, bags, and/or their entire bodies out of their way. So please make space for those very, very hot plates—and every dish platter, for that matter. The quicker we can make our way through the crowds and set your order down in front of you, the quicker you can eat, so it's a win-win situation for all.
7. Making a mess
This should be a rule everywhere you go since dining tables are not synonymous with trash cans. If you bring in dirty tissues, water bottles, snack wrappers, etc., you should either throw these out yourself or scoop them up at the end of your meal to take them with you. If you bring it in, you bring it out. That's it, that's the rule.
8. DIY 'kid tables'
This one shouldn't come as a surprise, but if your children are running around the restaurant, not only can it be disturbing to other customers, but it's also unsafe. There are many breakable dishes and hot entrees being passed throughout the space and an accidental bump or a small child in a server's path could cause harm. "Parents who allow their children free range of the restaurant, as if it were a daycare," is a pet peeve of another server on Reddit. "If accidentally I hit little Timmy in the face & spill all my drinks, you're buying the tab."
Even worse is "when parents go out as families and create 'kid tables' with no one paying attention to the kids and they just destroy the place," espoused former bartender and bouncer Adam Cohen.
9. Thinking your sparkling personality is the tip
Let's face the facts: Waiting on customers is no walk in the park. Not only are there many moving parts—the orders, the tables, the chaos—but oftentimes servers are plagued by rude, impatient, or demanding customers. Don't add to the downsides of the job by not tipping or even undertipping your server. "Customers who act like they're your best friend & you're the best server they ever had, then stiff you," is a no-go for one server, who expressed their frustration about ''tipping with kindness" on Reddit. (And if you're unsure of how much to tip, it's always a safe bet to leave twenty percent.)
10. Constant complaining
First it's too hot inside. Then it's too cold. Your food didn't come out correctly. Some customers can find anything to complain about without remembering that your server likely has nothing to do with the problem. Take a deep breath and think about whether picking a fight is worth it. More likely than not, it's not. In a Reddit thread dedicated to the common hardships of restaurants servers, one commenter lamented their biggest pet peeve: "Customers who ask you to turn the AC down. Yes ma'am, let me call corporate for you really quick."
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