10 Secrets to a Happier Sex Life

May 11, 2012

We chatted with experts, friends...each other! Here are tips that easy to help get your sex life happier and hotter.

1. Embrace pillow talk

"It's hard enough to talk about sex when you're in the middle of making love," says Dr. Lissa Rankin. "Instead, discuss positions you'd like to try, things you like, things you don't like, while you're in a relaxed setting to take any judgment out of the conversation."


#2. Plan to get busy

Professionals and experts are saying there's nothing wrong with scheduling a little action. In a busy world with work, family, and, oh, everything else, it's easy to simply not be doing it. Schedule a night and then spend the day sending steamy reminder emails and texts.


Read More: 33 Date Night Hair & Makeup Ideas


#3. Get loud

"Men usually find louder sex sessions to be gratifying, instructional, and affirming," Dr. Rankin shares. Test the waters with your sounds, words, and phrases. Chances are, you'll find all the commotion satisfying and pretty darn hot.


#4. Spend some time apart

Absence does make the heart grow founder. Real women we quizzed reported sex sizzling after a self-imposed hiatus from their partner. Take a spa weekend with the girls and come back ready for loving!


Read More: 50+ Celebrity PDA Moments


#5. Be physical

Cuddling, hugging, playfully swiping...touching outside of the bedroom can all combine for a stronger connection when you make it under the sheets. If P.D.A. isn't your thing, ease into it slowly with extra hand-holding or rubbing your partner's back while you wait in line at the grocery store.


#6. Kiss everywhere

The real women we polled said she noticed a big reaction from her man when she spread the attention around. "He loves it when I start out kissing his lips, and then slowly move to his ear, collarbone, and south from there," said reader Kendall. "I am telling you, the anticipation will drive him wild!"


Sexy couple
Sexy couple

#7. Bring in outside extras

Sex toys not for you? No sweat. Even couples who don't feel comfortable using vibrators can have a little fun with saucy finds like massage oil candles. Designed to be body-friendly, light them before things get heated. Then, blow out and pour the wax onto bare skin for a sensual  massage.


Read More: 101 Sex Tips from Real Women


#8. Check in

Take a vacation from real life by booking a hotel room for two. Forget housework, kids, and walking the dog - it's space for your two to be loud, have fun, and reignite that spark.


#9. Go old school

Back when making out was all you knew, things seemed a lot more exciting (oh, the curiosity!). Add some fun by trying a game last played in high school: seven minutes in heaven. Use a walk-in closet and be as innocent, or not, as you like.


#10. Help out in the shower

Actual sex in the shower can be uncomfortable, strained, and even a little dangerous. Rather than going all the way, use the intimate time to simply be close. You'll be connecting without distractions like the TV or Blackberry, meaning any action safely out of the shower will be even stronger.


For more from Real Beauty:

101 Lazy Girl Makeover Ideas

33 Ways to Make Your Eyes Look Bigger with Makeup

30 New Polishes Under $10

Dark Spot Fighters

Summer's Best New Hair Colors


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Reprinted with permission of Hearst Communications, Inc.

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