12 things I learned in my first year of marriage

A lot of things can happen in a year, depending on where you are in your life. You could get your driver’s license, complete a certification or buy a home. It’s 365 days of unlimited opportunities.

For me, I have been married to another human being for just over 52 weeks.

That’s 8,700 hours of my life in a long-term, committed relationship. While we had been together — and committed — for five years prior to getting married, being legally paired feels different.

I will be the first to recognize that our love story isn’t your typical one. We met at an Irish pub through a mutual friend, spent many months traveling (whether it was Florida in April or backpacking Europe in the fall), got engaged on Montreal’s Mount Royal at sunrise, and eloped four months later. Then two months after our vow exchange, he packed his things and moved to America for a new job. We spent our first eight months of marriage living in separate countries — and while we’re together now, I have learned so much more in the last 12 months than the years leading up to the wedding.

Check out my biggest life lessons from my first year of marriage:

Sometimes life isn’t fair

And sometimes your husband is going to get opportunities that mean living apart for longer periods of time. It’s better to accept this early and move on, cherishing the time you do have together.

Compromise is just as – if not more – important than communication

You’re now a part of a team, so you can’t just make decisions that only benefit yourself. This also means you can’t just drop money at whatever catches your eye.

Marriage isn’t 50/50

If you’re both not putting in 100 per cent every day, you’re not being fair to your partner.

Saying ‘I love you’ is still important

While it may seem obvious — and as someone who doesn’t say it nearly enough — telling your partner that you care should be a daily affirmation that you commit to.

You simply don’t know what someone else is thinking/feeling

I am guilty of assuming that I know everything my husband thinks. That’s not true — and it took him saying “can you please stop telling me how I feel?” for me to realize it.

What may be clear to you isn’t always as clear to others

Whether it’s your non-negotiable rule that the cook doesn’t clean up or wishing your partner a good day before work, it’s important to communicate clearly (and concisely) from the very beginning. Things that are second nature to you may not be for your partner.

You will spend the rest of your life learning your spouse

When you exchange your vows, you’re saying “I do” to learning all of their quirks and ticks. This will give you an advantage when it comes to making them the happiest person in the world — and also the control to get under their skin unlike any other. Knowledge is power.

Fighting fair is definitely a thing

We all know that fighting from time to time is healthy. And you’ll encounter more stressors than ever as you continue your life adventure with your person. Make sure when challenges do pop up, that you fight fair — this means checking name calling, petty differences and personal opinions at the door.

Picking your battles is a relationship-saver

Trust me, nothing stresses me out more than dirty underwear directly beside the laundry hamper, but is it worth prescribing a dose of silent treatment for a solid day? Probably not.

You don’t have to like the same things

This one goes hand-in-hand with picking your battles. If your partner has loved video games longer than they’ve loved you, they probably aren’t going to forget their first love the second you exchange vows. Don’t expect their favourite things to mesh seamlessly with yours — having different hobbies helps you grow as an individual and gives you something new to talk about.

Kindness is king

When you spend all of your time with one person, it can be easy to forget they are a different person with different feelings and sensitivities. Remember to always be kind — what may not seem so bad to you could be devastating to them. Kindness and respect go a long way in a marriage — even if it means listening to a work rant for the third time in a week.

You have a partner for life

This means you may have someone to clean up after when they shave their beard in the shower, but it also means you have someone to tell you everything is going to be OK after a bad day. Being married means you have someone to support you in every little and big way for the rest of your life. Whether it’s arguing over what to eat for dinner or having someone on standby with wine after a long week, you have a teammate for life.

What are your biggest marriage lessons? Let us know by tweeting @YahooStyleCA.