15 Ex-Husbands Revealed Their Breakup Stories, And Honestly, You Can't Help But Root For Them
Reddit user bakedn8er asked the men of the community, "Why are you divorced?"
They got right down to it and revealed their heartbreaking and intense stories. Unions aren't simple, and these divorced men have unfortunately experienced the worst of it.
So, here are some valid reasons why men divorced their significant others:
Warning: Some submissions include topics of domestic abuse. Please proceed with caution.
1."My ex was emotionally and verbally abusive. I responded by retreating emotionally, which made her even more upset. Divorce was the best thing. I have zero tolerance for partners who are emotionally or verbally abusive now. It’s amazing how many people can’t stop themselves from yelling or being mean when they’re angry."
2."We could not agree on how to discipline our children. She would nag at the kids constantly and never give a consequence. Then, when she had enough, she would come to me. For years, I told her she was enabling their behavior, and they would continue to do it because they had no reason not to misbehave. As soon as I moved out, I established clear expectations — it was tough for a few weeks. There weren't issues at first, but now she tries to say that it's because they are scared of me. But they aren't afraid of me — they are afraid of the consequences of their actions."
3."She was unemployed when we met, and I took care of her during law school. She made the right friends and made the right moves. I supported her every step of the way. I put my career on hold so she could travel while I took care of our children. We moved to the west coast. It took me a few months, but I found work in my field while she made the executive board of a tech company. I was so happy for her. Then she told me she wanted a divorce. She said she deserved to be with an 'achiever,' that I had been holding her back all these years, and our children will be happy with a dad who has accomplished something. I thought we were happy. I didn't realize nothing mattered to her but her career. I was just a means to that end."
4."My ex-wife and I had consistent and persistent communication breakdowns and compatibility issues. Both she and I needed a chance to find someone who could give the other what they needed in terms of communication and affection in a relationship. So, divorce was the answer. No children were subjected to custody issues, thank heaven. I would've avoided the marriage completely if I had a little more knowledge about how to build healthy relationships and knew I needed some therapy. Her business is her business, and I won't share further. She remarried recently, and I'm still looking."
5."I foolishly directed my main priority on my work, putting my family's needs second. Initially, I wholeheartedly believed I was doing it all for my family — a better home and better schools for my children. In the end, I learned that it wasn't as I had thought. It somehow became about my ego, wealth, and standing in the community."
6."We divorced because she forgot about me. I was pushed to the side to accommodate her new hobbies and interests. I asked for time with her and was met with vehement opposition. I tried to voice my own concerns about how everything was consuming her and was, again, met with opposition until someone else told her it was unhealthy. I was forgotten, so I left."
7."I grew and matured, and she didn't. Eventually, we became different people, and she was someone I couldn't spend the rest of my life with. We were together for 13 years, and she had the same selfish, self-sabotaging, jealous mindset she had when she was a teenager. I knew it was over when I couldn't rely on her to support me emotionally after a few traumatic events in my life."
"When we split, she tried EVERYTHING to ruin my reputation. She spread rumors — she tried to get me fired from my own business (lol), among other things.
In the end, I'm so glad to have that low-quality person out of my life. I'm healthier, wealthier, and happier than I've ever been."
8."We got married too young. Neither of us was mature enough — when we had a baby, things just got worse between us (arguing and bickering all the time). We didn't know how to talk things through and work on it. I didn't want our son growing up with yelling matches around him, so we split up for his sake. We've remained civil towards each other — there were no courts or lawyers involved. I pay child support, and she splits the airfare for me to fly him to see me during school holidays."
9."My ex-wife no longer loved me. It took years for me to figure this out and come to grips with it. The worst part of it was she knew that she didn’t love me, but she wanted to stay married. I said so many times that we should think about divorce and she was so shocked and refused. I mistook that as she wanted to work on it. We never spent any time together, we didn’t text, and we slept in separate rooms. She quit going to gatherings on my side of the family. I would have to guilt her into doing ANYTHING with me, and she usually would cancel at the last minute. Being married to someone who doesn’t love you is so much worse than being lonely. I dragged her to marriage counseling, and it was there I realized how fucked up our relationship was and how I had normalized it. She didn’t participate at all, but it really opened my eyes and started my path to healing."
"The divorce sucked. We just finalized it all two years later. She acted surprised when I gave her the paperwork even though I had told her face-to-face a dozen times or more.
My tolerance for people treating me poorly has vanished. I met some women who had some flags for that and politely ended it. I was going to be 100% myself and not feel guilty about it or try to make things better by self-sacrificing. I eventually met the most wonderful lady and have never been more in love and respected. It feels amazing.
In the end I had two choices that were both hard, but I made the right one."
10."There was never any peace. She came from a family that was constantly arguing or mad at each other but thought they were the 'perfect' family. They always had to be working on some project and never relaxed. Everyone else was constantly criticized. Eventually, the intimacy was gradually withdrawn, and the noise of complaints replaced them."
11."My ex-wife was fiscally irresponsible to the point of us almost being without a home. She also forged my name on a loan that still follows me to this day. Ten years later, I'm a homeowner, have some retirement savings and a decent nest egg, and she's still living paycheck to paycheck. I made the right decision."
12."My wife was very cool when I met her, with similar interests and a lot of charisma. However, she could be cruel and lack empathy, and it eventually turned out she had lied and was still lying about huge sections of her life. She lied about her upbringing, qualifications, and more. She pretended to have 'friends' when they were actually her — she was conducting a secret imaginary life on social media. Then, she started having online affairs (the whole thing was a lot wilder than this, but these are the highlights)."
13."We grew apart — she felt more like a good friend than a wife. She never spent time with me. The sex wasn't good, no matter what I tried, and I bought many toys and tried different things and read MANY ways on how to please women. It was to the point where she wouldn't even hug or kiss me. I need touch — it's super important, and I was just getting next to nothing. She's not a bad person or anything like that — we are still good friends. I just don't think we were very compatible after a few years of marriage."
14."We divorced after 13 years of marriage through some help from relationship therapy. We discovered that while we loved each other (not being madly in love), we needed to be with totally different people. I needed someone who would let me be the adventurous, risk-taking person I am, while she needed someone who made her feel secure. We are lifelong friends because we trust each other after so many years of shared experiences. In the 30 years since the divorce, she moved politically from the center to the right, and I moved from the center to somewhere on the left, so we avoid those topics out of respect for each other. We both feel we are lucky."
15.And finally, "Because she was a horrible partner. She's a nice person, but she didn’t respect my opinions and wishes. If I had a complaint about something, she treated me like I was a 'typical man' and would just brush me off. After years of this, the resentment had built so much that I fell out of love with her. I had tried for several years to get her to go to marriage counseling, and she would always push back and say I was 'overreacting.' I even told her that if we didn’t work on things, we would be divorced one day, and she always treated my concerns like I was just being unreasonable, even though I was sincerely trying to work on our relationship as a team and partnership. When we split, she then tried to get us into marriage counseling, but it was too late. The damage had been done."
Note: Some submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.
If you or someone you know is in immediate danger as a result of domestic violence, call 911. For anonymous, confidential help, you can call the 24/7 National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 (SAFE) or chat with an advocate via the website.
